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shoebaby1
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My and my boyfriend broke up in May but never stopped talking or dating or making love. We acted just like a couple but did not say we were back in a "relationship" we have never not talked for even a week for 3 years together and even after our break up we talked like every 4 days or so. He told me on Saturday that he didn't feel social and he didn't want to hang out after all and he "didn't think" we should talk anymore because of all the problems in the past. I feel that we will talk again soon for some reason, I just feel it inside of me. I am not contacting him because I feel that if he wants to get together or atleast try, he should call me. but I keep feeling that we will be back together again soon. Am I in denial??

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Hello There

 

Sorry about your situation, I know it hurts especially when you care. I think denial may not be the correct word. It might be more like false hope.

The way I see a relationship is that both people have to be emotionally available. And when one is, and the other is not, well then it opens up all kinds of strange feelings.

 

What I would do is go out myself and stay busy, and if he calls he calls. But don't sit by the phone waiting and getting bummed. I have learned that everything in life has a beginning and an end. Take the good with you, and sweep the bad in the trash and forget it. But learn form it.

 

Good Luck, I wish you well

 

Kuhl

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I would say denial is keeping you in a "holding pattern" here...

 

You guys "broke up" but kept talking, dating, and having sex? Where's the "breaking up" part? I don't see a break up there...

 

It sure sounds like he is using you..."having his cake and eating it too" in having a "relationship" without the responsibility of a relationship...and meanwhile while you are in this situation you are not available to a guy with whom you could have something 100 times more fulfilling...

 

The thing is, you are letting him do this, you're spoon-feeding him his cake here... My suggestion is to muster up some self-esteem and belief in real and better relationships for yourself and you call this "thing" quits ASAP...the sooner the better as it sounds you are being emotionally hurt by this and his actions.

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Are you in denial? I don't think so. However, are you selling yourself short? Most definitely! For months after your boyfriend broke up with you, you continued to provide him with sex, security and companionship, "free of charge" without any price of commitment. Now that he is officially out of your life, I suggest that you move on, take some time off(from the game) to heal your respective relationship wounds, and then eventually find someone who knows just how much you're worth and treats you accordingly.

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