Petty or not?

[Riles84]

Ok well, Its been awhile since me and my ex have broke up, and Ive dealt with it well. I still have love for her, and would get back together with her if given the chance. But right now were both in good places and understand that. We've really given eachother our space, havent talked in almost a year. SHe has a boyfriend now too, which brings me too my question.

 

Ok well the other night i was on my friends balcany having some drinks, and i saw her dads porsche driving down the street, and her new boyfriend was driving it. Now from talking to her sister still frequently, Im pretty sure that her whole family was in europe for vacation. I know her dad, and he loves his car and would never let anyone drive it. I have a hunch that he was driving it without any permission and behind my ex's back. Should i mention something casually to her like" So your dad must really trust so and so too let him drive his car" .. or does this seem like petty ex stuff?

[chai714]

It's petty and she's your ex. She's history, who cares who is driving her fathers car.

[Riles84]

Because im still freidns with her, and her sister .. thats why

[25thfloor]

i think if you tell her for the right reasons, it's ok. i would just leave a short message, but would not engage in conversation. i would want my ex to tell me if someone had my dad's car.

[Midgi]

I guess you need to check out if your presumtions prove right? If she did allow him to drive the car then you will just look like the sad, jealous exboyfriends and it will appear like you are trying to get them apart.

[Riles84]

Theres ways to bring it up in conversation that wont seem like that though .. Im not gonna bring it up to the sister incase my ex let him drive but wasnt supposed too .. and she gets in trouble.

[jenny_mcs]

I think it will be obvious to both your ex and her boyfriend what you are doing - which is trying to cause trouble between your ex and her boyfriend.

 

You wrote that you haven't spoken to her in a year! This is not some close friend that you are concerned about.

 

Plus posting in the "Getting Back Together" section makes your motives pretty obvious.

 

Don't call.

[Riles84]

was meant to be put under healing after a breakup .. clicked the wrong one but i guess woulda been more suited in ex relationships ..

 

getting back together and breakign tehm up is not my motive. We havent spoken in a year, becasue me and her new boyfriend new eachother, and he knows im her ex and doesnt like her talking to me.

 

I can see how its easy to come to the conclusion that im trying to casue trouble, even thoguh its not the case, im merely concerned that if hes doing that , what else is he doing. I would call it looking out for her, but since it seems like I am trying to casue trouoble, I wont tell her as she will more than likely come up wiht the same conclusiona s most of you

[hjc]

Make absolutely suire you know it is what you think it is. You will look ridiculous if you are wrong (ie. he has the Dad's permission).

 

So, I suggest caution and if in doubt don't use the info...its time will come.

 

I see this as a potential hazard - under normal circumstances of course you tell her...but your position means there is a risk you are suspected of meddling. So if you're right fine,but if not....

 

And equally even if you are...does she want to hear it now.

 

You have dynamite in your hands...be careful how you use it. I say, sit and wait for a bit (yeah I know if you wait too long you risk "why didn't you tell me" accusations...easier to rebuff though than being called manipulative...)

 

Good luck!

[hulk7280]

yeah thats pretty petty. i mean i could ruin my ex's relationship with her current man, because she lied to him about me and i know for a fact she has been seeing someone else why they were 2gether.. but i didnt say one word. for two reasons A. if i did it would show i still cared, but what would it accomplish? nothing she would just hate me instead of see me as the loving caring guy that i was.. and make her miss me more. B. i would rather have her end things because of something she did and he found out or she found out then because of me and if they do work things out she will always have to live with the fact she lied to him and it wont work because there will always be that trust issue

[friscodj]

Because im still freidns with her, and her sister .. thats why

 

If you "would get back together with her if you had the chance" you are not her "friend" in the real sense of what the word "friend" means... Could you sit down with her and help her out with a new relationship with a different guy without your own bias?

 

You need to make distance and detach to the point where you wouldn't get back together with her to clear your head and stop being so wrapped up in this woman. Could you see yourself falling in love with another woman and not think of this woman?