How do you prevent Divorce from making you bitter?

[chattymcchatterson]

I had to get lawyers involved today. This is something I have been avoiding, knowing it was just going to hash up stuff better left unsaid.

 

How do you prevent the whole process from turning you inside out and leaving you burned by the whole process?

[tictactoe2006]

That's a real good question. First off, I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. I went through the same thing this year. You will survive this though, believe me.

 

As for preventing it form turning you inside out: just promise yourself that you will not let it happen to you again. On a personal note, I feel much better since I promised myself I will wait at least 10 years before getting married again, and that I will not have any more children.

[tictactoe2006]

Isn't it crazy! It's like people are actually REWARDED for destroying their marriages! Your lawyer should apply for it for you as well, if his does. That's what mine did. Although my state is very, VERY liberal, one thing they are actually tough on is spousal support/alimony. Here, she could have only gotten it if 1) she didn't work at all, or 2) If I made like 10-20X what she did.

[sonjam]

I divorced my highschool sweetheart when I was just 23, we got married at 20 after a courtship of 6 years. It took me a good 2 years to get over the feelings of failure, and heartache of a cheating spouse. I only got married to my second husband in 2004 - that is a good 11 years later, and only because I was going to have my first child. I still feel the after effects of the divorce to this day, even though I never had any contact with the ex after the divorce. It scars you but also, it makes you a wiser and better person.

[craign]

I have a friend going through a divorce.Her husband got her diaries as proof as a unfit mom for custody of her son.You want to talk about a crapp deal.But you know shes knows that its gods plan on how it turns out.But how do you not get angry?Well i went through that anger in my divorce.But after awhile i had to accept anything that happened.It was out of my hands.I learned so much from that divorce.Thats how i kept it from turning me inside out.I knew it was out of my hands and just learn the lesson i needed to learn.Hope that makes sense

[micy226]

I'm really not sure that you can. Of course you will eventually be able to move on, but you will probably be effected forever. My best advice is to just try to keep a positive outlook, and like some of the others have said, wait several years before you try marriage again. A friend of mine actually pledged to never marry again. (Although she's quite happy on her own, something I don't quite understand myself). But even if you don't get married again, you could just have a long term committed relationship with someone. Just make sure you keep your finances separate, it's a lot less complicated when something happens.