Having some really tough times enjoying things. Bored, maybe depressed?

[AloneAgain2006]

No matter what I do, which friends I talk to, I am bored beyond belief. I have this emptiness inside that can only be satisfied by someone new in my life, a possible partner. Does anyone understand the way I feel?

 

Have friends, have hobbies, have some money, but all I have inside me is this emptiness. I really can't enjoy life without someone special to share it with. Last week I spent some time with a female who's single and it was the only time I felt alive. Being in her company lifted my spirits and gave me a reason to smile. Now it's back to the daily grind of life.

 

I don't think trying new hobbies will bring me happiness. Nor will making new friends. The only way to break out of my doldrums is to find that special person to start my life with. Can anyone relate to my feelings? I'm really bored of life. Only by sharing my life with someone special I feel happy. I can't change the way I feel. So hard to imagine the next 5 years of the same thing if I can't find a partner in crime. What to do? It really gets bad during statutory holidays.

[caring person]

I once felt the same way you did too. Here is what I did to change it. This totally warded off the depression. I made sure I got at least 20 minutes of sun on my skin each day, I guess it produces vitamin E and other things. I also started walking for about 20 minutes too while I was getting the sun. The theory behind it is that it breaks up the sedantary fecal matter that is poisoning your bloodstream and making you feel depressed (constipation). But don't worry, as soon as you start you will begin to feel a benefit. I began taking a one a day vitamin, and most importantly, prayed to God for help and thanked God for the blessings of life and family. I also prayed to God that He would send a love to me. He did, not only His love, but he sent me a wonderful woman I married and had kids with. I think it happened really fast, in only a month or two from when I really started asking God.

Also, try asking friends and family if they can "give you a referral". That's a good way to meet people. Meeting a woman in church is also a very good start because then you know...

 

 

Take care and God bless,

eric

[unmenomore]

I felt this way a while back. I also prayed to God and he did answer me. However, the guy I thought was sent from God, turns out to be someone who is not recipricating the feelings i have. In other words, they don't seem to want to pursue anything with me. I just feel tired of the daily routine also, and I don't want to go from person to person trying to find love. I wish it would work out with this guy.

[Moxie100]

So, you pretty much described exactly how I feel about my life right now. Things I used to be interested in suddenly aren't very interesting.

 

Anyway, unfortunately, people who are more satisfied with their lives as an individual usually are more attractive to others. I would try new things, even if you don't feel like you'll like anything...maybe an activity in a group would be a good idea (a fun class or something?), and you might meet someone that way too. One thing that does hold my interest is travelling... I think taking a trip somewhere else for a while can liven your spirits and help you learn more about yourself and what you like.

 

I hope I helped a little bit...hang in there. If nothing else, know it's normal to feel that way, and you'll get through it. Good luck.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Nooooooo, do not make the mistake of thinking that when you find "someone special" your life will suddenly be better!

 

OK, fair enough, you get to have more companionship, sex. Etc. Ultimately though, it doesn't fix that hole you've got going on in your soul. I have depression and bipolar disorder which causes me much grief, I too suffer anhedonia/inability to obtain pleasure from life - and I can certainly say that finding a partner will not be the cure.

 

A distraction maybe, but ultimately you have to work on the real, root reason why you are unhappy. After all, if partners = happy, no one in a decent relationship/marriage would ever be depressed, would they?

[Gandalf]

It seems everyone has an opinion, but the perception of your experience is YOUR reality. You longing for something can be attributed to myriad things...but who knows what they truly are. Some may say that compionship is overrated, I disagree, but what I find stimulating and that which makes me whole, may not be your "cup of tea." True, you could be suffering from depression or you could be suffering from underlying desires to connect emotionally, physically and spiritually with another human being. We are designed to find mates and companions and there is one for you. How you choose to view this process is up to you. The key is that you do actually have a choice...as simple as it sounds, how you CHOOSE to view your situation will directly and profoundly affect how you feel about it 100% of the time. This is not "just" the power of "positive thinking"...that is too pollyanish. What I am saying is that our minds are likes computers and we routinely train them to automatically and systematically input negative, self-defeating and catastrophic statements about ourselves millions and millions of times over the years. thereforeeee, it becomes as automatic as pushing a key on the keyboard of a computer and instantaneously, you get a letter...it is automatic. This self-talk or self-dialogue is so routine for us, the large majority of us don't even recognize that we do it because it is internal.

 

Life is not about absolutes unless we allow it to be. Try attending to your daily internalized self-dialogue and see if you have repetitive, automatic negative thoughts about your situation. If so, this means that you can "reprogram" your self-talk to pull yourself out of the doldrums. Remember, you are in control of your life and your thoughts are the keys to unlocking the mysteries of your emotions.

 

Take care and good luck.