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Friend experiencing depression, but I am too :(

No Spaces Rob

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My friend seems to be experiencing depression. She has been telling me about feeling bad all the time and crying. She told me she thought she was going crazy for the way she feels. I asked her if she was keeping a journal, and seeing a counsellor, and making use of her family and friends for support, and she said she had exhausted all those possibilities. She feels hopeless and as if the future is bleak.


The problem is, I am also trying to shrug off depression which has seen me deeply miserable for some time, and I know that I am currently improving. My depression seemed to start as grief over a relationship. Anyway, I stopped therapy a couple of months ago though I still think about it quite a bit and still have the odd bad time.


She tells me about her problems constantly. I am willing to talk to her about them, because I know from personal experience that the worst thing when you are depressed is feeling like people are judging you for it, or aren't listening. So I want to be a good friend.


I don't really talk to her about my own depression. I kind of want to, but I don't want to worry her or sound like I am trivialising the way she feels. Also, I have a feeling she would not understand.


Hearing about her problems makes me kind of sad and miserable.


What if anything should I say to her? Should I tell her anything about my situation? I want her to know that I still care about her as a friend and don't want her to feel rejected. But at the same time I am feeling a bit sad over everything. Sad that she feels bad just like me.

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Hey NSR,


You are feeling sad because your friend,


Is in pain just as you are,


If you feel uncomfortable about her discussing her problems,


Can you maybe talk to her about it,


Do you feel she is bringing you down in the process?,


Like a downward spiraling loop,


You could also discuss your problems with her,


That way you can relate to each other more,


It's a difficult situation,


But if you are feeling uncomfortable,


You need to look out for your own comfort first,


You cannot help another until you help yourself first,





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It sounds to me like you both need to see a doctor for help.


I've helped a few people whilst I've been suffering from depression, been on meds and seeing a psychiatrist and it drains me until I'm exhausted. This will happen to you eventually by trying to help your friend.


Is there a support group in your area that you could attend together? That way you're still helping each other but you'll be getting advice from experienced people.

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