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In need of some Advice


lucy_lucy
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New to this... but have problem i cud really use some advice on. I have been going strong with my bf for 6 months now and things in my eyes always seemed completely fine. we see each other everyday as we live so close and have so much in common. however, i am going travelling on my gap year in a month (for 4 months) and so my bf recently asks what we r gonna do wen i go away etc. He recently complained that it is horrible to have a 'deadline' to the relationship and things have started to bother him recently. Its not been decided what we sud do but last night we had a conversation where he asked me if i thought things were the same as they used to be between us. I said yes as i do not believe things have changed at all. We have not had fights, not seen each other less etc etc so there are no obvious reasons. He then went on to say how he still had feelings for me and that i was still ever so special to him and thats y he was so confused. as he didnt no y things didnt feel the same to him but he knew he still liked me a lot. It hasnt really been clear about what he is thinking. all he says is that something is not the same but he is not sure what, but he knows he still likes me. I asked if this was him trying to break up with me and he replied with no, and that is hopefully not what he wants and that he will not nessassarily do that, he just needs time to think. He is on a management course for 4 days now however, i am suppose to be going up to see him wed evening and driving him bk thurs as it is his bday so that is 2 days appart. Im really on edge here... im not sure what is happening and im not sure why he is thinking like this. Im not sure if it is becoz i am leaving so soon that all he keeps focussing on is that and it is taking away from our relationship. He did previously say he was thinking what is the point wen we know it is going to end. i think the opposite and think u sud make the most of the time u have with that person etc etc. Help? im really worried that he is gonna end it and i really dont want that. I dont get how he can still have feelings for me and still really like me but not wanna be with me?? im really confused, please help id really appreciate it. x

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Your bf says that he still wants to be with you, so I think you should believe him. Relationships evolve over time, and maybe this is what he means when he says things are different for him.

 

If you both really love each other, surely you can keep your relationship together while you are away? Maybe your bf is just scared YOU will want to break up with him because you are the one leaving and maybe he just wants to guage how you feel.

 

If you want to stay with him while you're travelling then let him know. Reassure him that you want to be with him! It's quite possible he's pulling away because he thinks that it will hurt less that way.

 

Every relationship has ups and downs and different phases. Maybe this is just a part of yours.

 

This is only my opinion though, and you know him better than anyone. Follow your gut instict. But don't let things go just because you were too afraid to say what you really feel.

 

Good luck x

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I agree with aymee,

 

your BF sounds like he is feeling insecure about your leaving and is trying to gauge how you feel about it to see if his fears are founded. It's more difficult sometimes to be the one left behind...you know where he is but you will be in a new situation.

 

Hopefully by reassuring him that you can allay his fears. It's only 4 months, it's not long in the grand scheme of things. Is there anyway he could visit you...even once, just to break up the 4 months and give you something to look forward to?

 

Hope you work it out. It sounds like he cares but he's dwelling on the time you'll be apart rather than enjoying the relationship.

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