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PLS HELP. MY PARANOiA IS KILLIN ME.


juiicee
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Im really confused right now. I dont know what to think. Lately my partner and I would fight a lot, usually over small things. Usually i would initiate the fight. The reason being is that i think he changed. When we started going out, he was so sweet and lovely to me. He immediately fell in love with me. As time went by, I felt the same way for him too. After just a year, we already have a kid. Now lately ive been feeling so left out. I dont know but i just had this feeling that maybe he's cheating on me. But at the same time there are evidences to prove that he isnt. He goes straight home after work, he would never try to hide his phone calls, he never goes out with his friends(not w/o me). But then at the same time, he;s been distant from me. Like we dont have that much sex anymore. Or hes not so sweet with me anymore. I feel that I doesnt wanna be with me and the only reason he;s with me is because we have a kid together.

Please help. I dunno what else to feel or think. I've been having mood swings around him because im really confused right now. I want the old him back. I want the sweet him back. pls help =(

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Constant fighting is almost always likely to make someone distant. Instead of being perceived as a friend the partner becomes almost an enemy - someone who attacks them.

 

Perhaps it's time you both found a better way to resolve differences other than by fighting. You, in particular if you are the one who initiates the fighting. Learn to ask him for what you need from him without making him feel as if he is a bad person. Make it about how he he can make you happy not about what he does that makes you mad.

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You mentioned you don't like it because he's changed? It sounds like you've changed too. You need to sit down and discuss everything instead of arguing or you'll never sort the problem out.

 

Sex - That won't happen if the two of you aren't getting along happily.

 

Finally, the two of you fighting all the time is not going to be very good for your child. I was in that situation when I was a small child and my parental bond has never existed. I bonded with my Grandparents because they never argued around me and they made me feel safe.

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or how bout a change, you can do some sweet things for him, i'm sure he'll appreciate it. Also fighting can have a toll on the relationship. Just have to learn how to communicate your needs effectively without arguing.

 

It doesnt' sound like he's cheating at all. Probably tries to not talk to you b/c a fight might erupt. I was distant from my bf for a bit b/c he kept annoying me and had to change a few things ( i.e didn't want to see him, or kept the phone calls short..). But we've talked things out and now its okay.

 

Generally, a relationship is at a honeymoon stage at the beginning, later on some guys just kinda stop doing sweet things b/c they get comfortable with you etc..so it's quite normal.

 

Here's an idea : Each month, each of you do something nice for each other.

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Yeah, thats a big mistake a lot of people make in a relationship when the romance seems to be dying. They see the changes in the other person, i.e. how they just aren't being "sweet" like they used to be, but don't realize that they themselves have slacked off.

 

You can't expect him to do everything. If you start being more romantic, sweet, and loving to him chances are good that he might return the sentiments.

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I don't think he is cheating necessarily based on what you said about his habits, but he may feel distanced. Fighting will do that...so will feeling attacked for needing space.

 

You have only been together a year and have a child, those are a lot of changes and responsibilities, and the honeymoon period is "over" essentially so you are adjusting to a new dynamic. Having a child also means more "parenting time" and it's harder to make that much needed couple time, which you do need.

 

Communicate, rather than fight. It's not about being right, it's about listening and sharing and resolving things together.

 

Relationships DO change over time, sometimes the romance is not as strong as it goes on, it does not mean that the love is not however deeper, or that you can't still have something wonderful.

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