how to tell if he's a player???

[oneshygal]

I'm very interested in a guy at work who is very confident and outgoing which always seem to be characteristics of players. Since it's a work situation, I don't want to fall into the office gossip mill of carrying on with a "player".

 

He walks by my office alot and seems shy when he tries to ask me a question, but he is completely opposite with everyone else.

 

What kind of hints are there to look for to find out if he's date worthy???

[Luck of the Irish]

I'm very interested in a guy at work who is very confident and outgoing

 

and seems shy when he tries to ask me a question

 

Only shy around you... He sounds genuinely interested.

[Caine]

I would sugest go along with whatever you want with him, a date, office banter etc, but whatever happens between you, make him wait for age for sex, if he's a decent guy he'll wait for you and he'll have more respect for you aswell. (this post come from a guy) I prefer a lady to make me wait, it show's me she's a nice respectful girl. give it at least a month of dating, (unless you start going on dates like every other day then a month will seem to long) if you go on a date say twice a week, then a month is good.

[blender]

Be lite, polite, flirt a little, but do NOTHING else, unless he makes a decent, mature, direct "effort" and asks you out on a date.... do NOT settle for anything less... as far as the "shy" thing, real players know how and when to play this card... that's for sure... be careful, it's always tough to get involved with someone you are working with on a daily basis. But still, look great when you go to work, be confident, and DON"T do the work for him, make him come to you and directly ask you out..... guys like it sooo much more if the girl takes an "effort" to ask out... remember you are the "prize" here, not him... treat yourself with respect, and don't get drunk around him, ever, at any of those office parties... and don't look for "signs" that he's interested, wait until he "makes the effort to actually ask you out"...

[shes2smart]

I don't want to fall into the office gossip mill

...

 

What kind of hints are there to look for to find out if he's date worthy???

 

The only way to stay out of the office gossip mill is to keep a fairly solid wall between your work life and personal life and don't date your co-workers. That would exclude him from being date worthy unless and until he or you started getting your paychecks from a different employer.

 

Dating a co-worker is usually NOT a good idea. Ever hear the phrase "don't get your honey where you get your money" or perhaps the alternate "don't poop where you eat"? It's pretty sound advice that a lot of people live to regret if they don't follow.

 

Some companies have a written policy against (or strongly discouraging) dating co-workers...do you know what your company's policy on the matter is? Better to find out before you do anything rather than get called in to HR for a little chat.

 

Having said that, I dated co-workers twice. First one went ok. No one found out, and when it ended, it ended amicably and we went back to being just co-workers. Second time was a huge mess and ended up being a contributing factor to me leaving a job I'd had for over 15 years.

 

If you decide to pursue this (because God knows humans engage in risky behavior all the time) give some thoughts to the possible consequences if things do not go well...up to and including losing your job or things becoming so uncomfortable you have to leave your job. If you are willing to take those risks, proceed. If you're not willing to take those risks, find your romantic interests somewhere other than work.