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I am a troubled individual who doesn't know how to deal with her emotions.


Have anyone been in love with someone who won't love you back? Have you done everything for him/her without expecting anything in return?


I knew from the start when I first knew him, that nothing would really come out of our relationship. I knew him for two years and in those two years, I grew to love him knowing fully that he has no intension of being serious. Before I knew him, I was a very bitter, sheltered, emotionally unstable individual and very naive. I had no close friends and to this day, I still don't. I thought I did, but now I don't. I thought I could change myself so that he would like me, so I took up his interests and go to his activities. It was difficult for me as I saw him everyday when I worked with him at one point in time. I didn't like who I was and he taught me many things. He listened to me, became my friend, comforted me when I was deeply depressed and cared for me dearly when I was not able to take care of myself. I did everything that I knew how to make him happy and we had some intimate moments when we were close, but he never saw me as a girlfried, just an ordinary friend. I knew the day would come when he will find a girl that he couldn't live without. We shared many life experiences and times together as he was going through hardship. Then one day, he tells me 'we can no longer hang together, nor can we be friends either.' I was hurt and still healing, but I also understand that he doesn't want his girlfriend to get jealous because of me.


On one side I am hurt, on another side I find it sad that he would give up a friendship that helped him through some tough times. I understand his predicament and I realize that life goes on.


Am I wrong to feel helpless and troubled, when I knew the answer the first time I met him? Is it normal to miss the first guy that you spent time with? Why is that I feel no one understands me? Is it wrong of me to still think of him? Can someone please give me some answers to help this "kitty" out.

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well hun,

he is basically the firs guy you loved, so its going to sting. The fact that he is letting you go so hisd g/f wont get angry or what not is kind of silly but he must feel that to keep her he has to watch what he does. I think we all have been in the position where we like someone so much it hurts but they dont want us back. What usually happens, and what my person experience is that you will meet someone that will be there for you and eventuially you will forget about him, and to be honest once you really realize what it was all about you will laugh about the situation. Life is really strange that way. In your situation it sucks that he just dumped you and left, but you know what, if he was willing to do that he was not worth it in the end. What i have noticed is people will ditch everyone they know for the one they are with, and the day comes where they break up and they have nothing, nor anyone to turn to, so its a learning process, so the next time they know how important a friend really is. well i hope i helped, if not im sorry! but think posatively, and try to keep your mind off the situation.


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Dear KK,


It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all. This is an old cliche, but one that I went by when I was falling in love. I also knew that it was an uphill battle and at some points, it seemed like I was battling against all odds. I happened to be lucky that I did get her to agree to marry me, and we've been married for 12 years. It is another story that my marriage and relationship is in deep trouble now, and it seems like some of the roots of the trouble i sprobably the fact that I was madly and deeply in love(and still am) but she "liked" me enough to marry me. I also have to say that I have done some incredibly stupid things in my life, but that s another story.


Long story short is that you have shown yourself capable of being such a loving, caring person that you will surely find another more mature guy who you will learn to love, and who will love you for what you are. You have expanded you heart by loving, taking the pain of letting go. Look inwardly and identify and recognize that for what it is - your strength rather than your weakness. Emotions are funny that way, and you will find it hard initially, but that is what I think it is.


Good luck, sweetie and hope you climb out of this one and find someone else that you will fall in love for good(For life).

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