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Any (man) happier after divorce ?


MrRight
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Folks, I come from a conservative family and divorce is a strange word to my vocabulary. However, after 7 years of dating and 7 years of marriage my life has turned into a battleground; fights occur on daily basis. I am seeking help from a marriage counselor and even the marriage counselor agreed that myself and my wife have very incompatible personalities.

 

In spite of all fights and incompatibilities, I trust my wife. She is the most honest person out there. If it turns out that we need to divorce to live in peace, I want to know whether typically one can live alone - as long as you enjoy yourself and have an active life - without a partner in the long term ?

 

My concern is that I see that life is tough out there. It seems that are many women out there marrying for money and with the courts favoring who 'has less assets' upon breaking the mariage, I don't want to fall into this marriage trap again.

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Hi

 

Despite there is woman who would marry for money or financial securities, they are just minority.

Nowadays single woman or single mum is more independent. Don't be surprise that some single woman who is wealthier than you.

If you so scared that they married you for money, then you could draft a prenuptial agreement to protect your asset in event of divorce. In fact, I advocate to it.

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Oh, I don't know about women who marry for money or security being in the minority. I know quite a few women who are looking for a man to take care of them financially and judge a man based on whether or not he takes her to nice, expensive places. There are so many women who are looking for the good life, maybe not so in the twenties and early thirties, but certainly by the late thirties and up, it seems to be more common.

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Glad Crazyaboutdogs beat me to making that point. I've seen a =lot= of this in the 20s and early 30s as well.

 

Guest 12345678 is on the money with his assessment that some women have even more than you do, and his suggestion of a prenup is good for everyone.

 

Mr. Right, this trust is worth a heck of a lot. A few years ago, a therapist told my x and me basically the same thing you were told: our personalities and characters were so entirely different, there was no sense in making things work.

 

Well, that trust was there, still is. It's worth a heck of a lot, and neither of us has found it in others since. He has a job that sounds like it makes a lot of money, and a lot of women brought expectations and put pressure on him that made my support of him during hard times dazzle in comparison.

 

What about living-together-apart? Lots of couples - even some with kids - live in different houses or different cities and have excellent relationships.

 

Check out a book called _Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay_ by Mira Kirshenbaum. (Pretty sure on author's name, but check.)

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I fear that you're trying to look at the situation from too pragmatic an angle.. After all, love has nothing to do with logic or pragmatism... One should think moreso about what one can contribute to a relationship, not what one gets out of it... If your concern is purely for yourself (knowing that "life is tough out there") then you no longer love your wife & you shouldn't be together... As for the world outside, nothing much has changed since you got together with your wife (it's always been "tough" out there)... The kind of relationships you form in the future will depend on the kind of people you choose to socialise with... As Randy Newman says, "it's a jungle out there"... Regardless, no-one's forcing you to drink with the warthogs, hang with the apes, or eat with the lionesses...

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Im single 32 male.You know it is sometimes lonely.But i will not get marrried again without listening to my gut unlike the first time.I dont need anyone to make me complete.Honestly for me i needed to be alone for this time that i have been.I am learning alot about me and what i want if i ever do get married again.This sounds goofy.I know so many people that jump from relationship to relationship out of fear of being alone.CRAZY.I did that for awhile and i was miserable.Im single but date every once in awhile.Im having fun.

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