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How pathetic, Im so angry....


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Hell looks very friendly right now. I thought things will get better but they are getting worse! I hate my life so much, I wish I could crawl somewhere in a corner and die, Im so depressed.

 

My parents have no sense of parenting what so ever!! I really hate them at the moment, yes they have helped me out finacially which I will repay, I dont want nothing from them, I dont want to eat what my mother makes, I dont want to tell them my feelings, what stage Im in in my life and other things. Ive had enough!

 

Im 20 years of age and my siblings who are 5 and 10 yrs younger than me get more respect. The idoits dont understand how much their actions affect my emotions (and Im not a sensitive person). My dad is so .... argh! Im so angry!

 

Let me tell you what happened. This morning I was woken up to my mum yelling and saying that Im the oldest and dont do anything in the house, mind you I clean up, do the dishes, look after the siblings and Im there for my parents convenince, If I wasnt here they would be stranded many times. Anyway, I ignored it as I usally do, then my dad decides to take my already disrespectful and spoiled brother shopping for a video game. When I was younger I never got any video games, I never chose my own clothes, I never complained, I was bashed for getting Cs in my report, I didnt get pocket money until I got into highschool and I only got $2 a week when I was a teenager! My sister who is 14 gets much more. I never had any friends because I wasnt allowed to go out etc.

 

Now that Im working, making my own money, have my own friends and my own identity my parents wont let me go out!!!!!!!!!!! Im so angry!!!!

 

I need to go out, I spend the week working and studying and I want one day to myself ... NOT EVEN ONE DAY, a few hours where I can go and see my friends and just be away from the house. BUT noooo Im not allowed!!! I can only go out once every month which is ridiculous for a 20 yr old!

 

I want to walk out of the house. I hate this so much. Im stressing so much over this and I bet you all its going to make me really ill, but you know what, I dont care if it does.... maybe then I'l get some respect.

 

Im thinking of lieing to them, I used to lie to them when I was younger (16yrs of age) so I could spend a few hours with my friends outside school. I think I need to start again, I might tell them I joined the gym which will help me be out of the house for at least 2 hrs a day. I really hate being at home. Its saturday and Im stuck with these people, Im so angry... I can feel a headache developing.

 

Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do?

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I say do what you got to do. If you aren't surviving like this, then do what you need to do to get by until you can get a plan in action. Don't worry about your siblings and how they are treated, just worry about you and what you want to do.

 

DBL

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I'm not saying go crazy or nothing, but your young and these are going to be the best years of your life. I moved back home at 20 after some issues at college. For 12 years I listened to my parents, ran their companies, etc. I was promised a lot if I stay with their companies...at the end I received nothing. I wasted 12 years of my life trying to please my parents and listen to them. I'm saying don't make the mistake of letting them run your life. You do what is best for you. School is important..so that should come before your boyfriend and fun. Other then that...you need to have some fun too and get out more then once a month. If you need to lie, then lie...if you want to try standing up for yourself then do that. I know how some parents are, some don't listen...mine were like that...so I know talking to them about these issues is something that won't happen. Pretend to join some organizations and college study groups. I guarentee you will regret the fun you miss if you don't help yourself.

 

DBL

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If you are unhappy, why don't you move out? What are your motives for staying at your parents? Do you have a car? Where does the money you make go toward? Do you pay rent?

There are lots of grants/loans a full time student can apply for. The dorms are also available at most colleges. You have options, you just need to look into it.

Lying and withholding important information about your life is no way mature or adult like. If you command respect and freedom, you must give to get. Complaining and griping about how your younger siblings get more than you got does not show maturity.

Your parents might expect a lot out of you b/c you ARE the oldest child still living at home. You ARE setting an example to your younger siblings, like it or not. If they fail in their mission, then what example are your parents setting??

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My parents have no sense of parenting what so ever!! I really hate them at the moment, yes they have helped me out finacially which I will repay, I dont want nothing from them, I dont want to eat what my mother makes, I dont want to tell them my feelings, what stage Im in in my life and other things. Ive had enough!

 

I swore this exact same thing about five years ago. And I know exactly how you feel. I was in a similar situation to yours. Being able to leave the house was almost impossible. I was so incredibly angry with my parents and the way the treated me. When I was 18 I decided I was going to be independent and they didn't deserve to have any part in my life. I transferred to a college where I could live on campus.

 

Moving out of the house was the best decision I ever made. I was able to do exactly what I needed---to be independent of my parents. It made them realize that I needed a life of my own and that I was no longer a child and they needed to treat me as such.

 

I know things are difficult for you right now. But if at all possible, I would suggest trying to save up to get your own place. Do you know anyone you could room with or are there dorms at your university?

 

I found that when I moved away from my parents that my relationship with them improved, over time. I never expected that to happen...I would have bet someone money that my parents would never again have any part in my life. It took a long time, about 3-4 years before I could finally let go of all that anger and repair my relationship with my family. I don't think it would have happened if I hadn't found a way to remove myself from the situation I was in.

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