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this made me think


CrazyKing
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My face nearly turned red as I heard the most fitting comment from my mother regarding me and my brother's (often) evil and angry reactions to people talking about sex (in newspapers, tv, etc..), she said that we both act as if we're not that interested in these things, but these reactions show that we both have unsatisfied sexual lifes...

 

Man, actually thats true, I try to ignore it, but I often feel that I'm getting angry just because I haven't experienced such things, I'm more or less jealous on all these people...

 

We both are deeply involved in other activities like culture, music, art, but the essential parts called 'love' & 'sexual relationships' is missing, that's more because we haven't had a good youth due to my parent's problems, we don't want our relationships to end like that, so we're somehow trying to find the right partners, but that ain't work so we stand here like two prisoners looking out of the windows and screaming at all the people who are free... Personally, I don't have problems talking to girls or whatever, It's just the fact that we ain't find those who would be just like us... Sometimes I have fantasies about staying alone for the rest of my life and doing everything so that I don't have to think about sex or anything like that, it's annoying...

 

What would you do if you were in such a situation where almost all of your friends are getting married and you pretend to be uninterested in all this???

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CK,

 

In response to: What would you do if you were in such a situation where almost all of your friends are getting married and you pretend to be uninterested in all this???

 

That is my current situation,

 

All of my friends are getting married,

 

But I call my path the deferred living path,

 

I want to finish my career before considering marriage,

 

Marriage doesn't just pop in when you want it to,

 

It's usually a surprise when you meet someone who is right for you,

 

So keep focusing on your activities you discussed,

 

And be patient, and with time, you will find the person for you,

 

When you stop searching, that's when they appear,

 

In terms of the problems you had growing up about marriage and your hesitancy towards it,

 

Can you seek therapy to figure out wha exactly you are scared of in terms of commitment or sexual relationships?

 

A trained therapist may be able to show you the root of your worries.

 

Hugs,

 

Rose

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I am like you a lot of friends are getting married and are involved in relationships of their own and I've never experienced it. I am a little bitter about that. I try to keep it in but sometimes it comes out. Anywho I was listening to a radio broadcast on a talk radio station and the guy they were interviewing said to get involved in your community, I know you said you are involved in things. He also said to work on the things that would make you a good spouse. Even read books on marriage to help you better understand love and all that. Hope this helps.

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You don't have to wait to find "the one" (or think you have found her) to get out there and experience life. There are many many fish in the sea, and the chances of you just being able to wait long enough for the right one to come to you are very slim indeed.

 

Just because your parents relationship was screwed up, does not mean that your relationships will turn out the same way. Examine their lives, determine where YOU think they went wrong and commit to being more aware of that problem arising when you are with someone (which is all you really can do).

 

Don't deny yourself love or the opportunity of love or at least just sex because of issues that your parents had that you could have done nothing about. You are only responsable for you. So take youself, kick your own butt into gear, and go start looking for someone to help you feel free....

 

at least then you will have a date to take to all your friends weddings....

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