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I talked to the ex tonight. she seems optimistic. She keeps telling me that she doesnt know if she can make me happy, and thats whats holding her back right now. She said shes changed a lot she doesnt like to do pda, or cuddle, or anything really anymore. Her self esteem has gone way down hill and she has a lot on her shoulders with bills and such. We are long distance right now, but this girl has not left my mind for a year and a half. Is there anyway to show her thats It can work right now, and to take a risk with me? Thanks in advance ENOTALONE!

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Love makes blind, Its NOT ok what you are doing here because the problems that made you originally go up into a break up have NOT gone away. Heck even more problems are there on the horizon.

 

Basically you are in love with a whirlpool, jump right in it and see how your life goes down the drain.

 

My advice slap yourself in the face and ask yourself what the hell you are doing! , BE REALISTIC, she is waaaay to mentally unstable to be in a relationship right now, you really think she can deal with depression,debts and handle a relationship with you at the same time. Ya right, sorry. The only thing you should do is love and help her out. Even if you get nothing in return back, that girl needs real (+ free) financial advice along with a counseller to help her deal with her depression problems. You can/should support her, not in terms of a relationship but in terms of friendship. and if her depression and debt problems are solved, then you can move forward into solving the problems that you two had prior the break-up.

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Past, Robowarrior's response to your post caught my eye, so I went to read your previous posts. I prefer to be an optimist, but from everything you've written before, I can't in all good conscience encourage you to continue pursuing a relationship with this fickle girl.

 

I know you love her and would do just about anything for your first love, but YOU aren't the problem. You don't have anything to prove as you've proven to her over and over again the sincerity and depth of your feelings for her by seeking her out despite all the hurt she's caused you.

 

SHE'S THE ONE that has to want you bad enough to change. She's the one that has to stop the mind games (she doesn't like to cuddle???) and get serious about doing the things that would make you both feel happy and closer. The fact that she doesn't do these things and is constantly chasing other guys and saying discouraging things to you as a consolation prize are signs that deep down she doesn't really want to get back together.

 

Ignore her words and ask yourself: Is this how I'd treat someone I love and want to be in a relationship with??? Not likely. By the way, people tend to say things like they "don't think they can make you happy" when the truth is they don't think you can make them happy. Not because there is anything wrong with you per se, but because they're too cowardly (and guilty) to admit that they no longer want a relationship with someone who treats them so well (perhaps undeservedly so).

 

You deserve to be loved by someone who loves you just as you are and without reservation. Unfortunately, she isn't it.

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