Recomendations?

[Nick_t]

Hi guys,

 

Have any of you got any book recomendations for men who have been dumped, and how to get over it, feel better, tips on what to do etc.

 

I am really looking for a book to help me through my break up and pain, but all books seem to be directed towards women.

 

I've been split from my ex for nearly a month now, but have been unable to practice NC until this week because I work with her. She is in Scotland till Friday, and I haven't spoken to her since last Wednesday.

I am going through a phase at the moment that everyday I think about my ex, and want to stop now. I'm keeping myself as busy as possible, and even her bestfriend has asked if I want to go to the cinema tonight, which is odd.

[PRSOV]

Hi Nick,

 

This isn't a book but I hope these threads helps you:

 

The road to recovery

 

I hope this helps.

 

PR

[Nick_t]

Thanks PR,

 

I will have a look at those later.

 

By the way, I have just heard that my ex is coming back early from Scotland, now on Thursday because she is totally skint, and is now working in the office on Friday!

 

Ahhhhhhhhh! Although I would have seen her on the Monday after it still would have been a couple more days to myself. Although we agreed to be good friends, I haven't contacted her since last Wednesday and neither has she. I just thought I would let it go for a week and a half and give us both space apart. Hopefully I'm thinking I've done the right thing by doing this, as she will appreciate me not constantly getting in touch and may also wonder why I haven't?!?

 

I don't know

[4ppl]

Just want to say you hello and have a great day!

 

You know, the break up is not a death and not the end of the whole life. It's hard to go through it but try to find strengths and overcome feeling of separation and loneliness...

 

Good Luck!

 

link removed

[hosswhispra]

Hello Nick t,

 

Sorry that you're feeling like crap lately. This too shall pass. Putting time and space between matters of the heart or love that has gone south, has always helped me. Know that in time, it WILL get better....just keep on saying with time and space between this will get better....I will feel better.

 

Hang in there,

hoss

[hulk7280]

time heals all wounds. ive been going through the same thing man.. it has almost been 4 weeks since me and my ex split.. some of the toughest 4 weeks of my life. but you have to keep your head up. i will give you one tip.. ignroe your ex as much as possible at work.. dont try and be her friend that does not work after a reletionship.. all ur doing is setting yourself up to get hurt AGAIN when she gets into a new reletionship, so you can hurt now and then hurt later.. or just hurt now and get it over with. by the way when you ignore a women it drives them crazy so there is also another side effect u might like

[Orlander]

Although we agreed to be good friends

I'm with Hulk here, Nick. First, you have to be a friend to yourself before you can be her friend. Being a friend to yourself means putting your own needs first and you need to heal and move on and that cannot be done while she is in the picture. Yes, it makes it much more difficult to do this since you work with her, but if you cant quit and get a different job or move into another department then your main focus right now should be on how to have NC with her while you work with her.

 

As for books, well I dont think there are many out there for men who have been dumped. There are countless relationships books though. I found that reading books that helped explain the differences between men and women, as far as relationships went, to be very informative and insightful. This past breakup I have been reading books on spirituality and healing. Check out Wayne Dyer's The Power of Intention or any of the works by the famed Buddhist Thich Nhat Hanh. Really though, just head to a bookstore and check out the books in the self help section and pick one that appeals to you.

 

 

Orlander

[Nick_t]

Thank you so much for your responses guys, and for your recomendations Orlander.

 

I've been thinking too, that this week has done me good, as I have realised I jumped into the idea of being good friends way to hastily, and for her that was the easiest way out. I will keep my contact with her to as little as possible, and if she asks why I'm not really speaking to her, I will explain that this week I have had lots of fun and time to think that my actions of being friends was way too quick and we need time apart. That will make her think, and in a way give her a taste of her own medicine, going from one extreme to the other (which isn't my intention). Just want to concentrate on myself and improve my well being, its started but I want it to progress to a different stage.

 

Before all i was really doing was finding a way so I didn't loose her, I was still in denial that it was over, and for her she really wanted to be friends. By keeping it very LC she will wonder what i've been up to, and been doing to move on the way I am. But I am fully aware it is my choice to do this to heal, let her think!

 

Like ur comment Hulk on the ignoring part they really do not like it, well I know my ex doesn't.