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Ever since my close female friend said she wanted to set me up with her very hot and handsome gay male friend, I have been mulling it over in my mind whether I should agree to it. Despite the titillating prospects of having a "trophy" boyfriend, I cannot let objectivity cloud my judgement and not let lust take precedence over suitability.

 

I'm no hottie, although I am considered above average looking. But, I feel strongly about being paired up with someone who's much better looking than me. I imagine this is my insecurity kicking in, but ultimately this kind of lopsided pairing will just end up with one getting really hurt, that is the less good looking will one will find himself partnerless when the other dude with so much more arsenal in the physical attributes department move on smoothly into a more compatible relationship.

 

It is this sensation of insecurity in the relationship that renders this kind of discrepant union so fragile. Yet, as my friend seems so sincere and enthusiastic, I wonder if I should actually give this guy a try. Also, he's 8 years younger than me (I'm 37) and that's another cause for insecurity. I just don't want to get hurt (as I have been before in this kind of lopsided relationship) and it doesn't help that I still have strong feeling for an officemate (see other posts).

 

Should I just tell my friend that I'm not interested and move on or is this thing worth it at all??

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I would say look at your friend's motives for setting you up to decide if it's a good idea. Why is she introducing you to someone? Are you that close? Does she know you and your likes, and more importantly your personality well? Or is she trying to fix you up for herself?

 

If its the former then trust your friend and why not? Nothing comes without risk- latter then run a mile.

 

also if you are really into someone else then I don't think getting involved with someone else will do you much good. But if its just for fun then why not!!

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Well I think you should give it a try. You may think it's lopsided, but attractiveness is a very subjective thing. Just because you think he's much better looking than you doesn't mean that in fact he is. It might be that you only think he is that attractive, and afterall it is nice to be attracted to people that you date. You ever notice how we're never as intimidated by dating the people we are less attracted to? But then if you date the ones you're not attracted to, you're probably wishing you could find someone you had more chemistry with, right?

 

Besides, how do you know if this 'hottie' might not be thinking that you're the one who's better looking?

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If she's setting you up then it sounds like it's one date and you really shouldn't decide before you go on the date about whether you will get hurt in the relationship in the end. Go on the date, get to know the guy and then the two of you can decide whether you both want to get more involved. You have nothing to lose by just going. You might find out that he's very good looking, but that he's not your type or you don't like his personality.

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Go out there with no expectations other than to meet someone new and to get to know the person a bit. Nature will take its course with everything else. At the very least, you will hopefully learn something new from this person. At the very best, you will make a new friend.

 

good luck, and have fun!

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