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I'm cursed for being single


thunder
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I'm 24 years old never had a girlfriend ,I'm a outgoing person but my shyness has always been a problem, I seen this girl I like and I think I've done something I think I regret by telling some of my friends I like this girl, she dosn't come out that often but last night she was in one of the local pubs and my m8s were putting pressure on me to go and talk to her, thats when I start getting really tensed up and at one point thought I was going to vomit and one of my m8s just suddenly eased off me by asking me if I was going to be sick, and I thought theres not even any point of going up to her when I feel like this. Thats how nervious I get.

I've been in this situation a few times before and never seem to learn from it.

 

I had this feeling last night she was expecting me to go up to her and talk to her, but now shes going to think I've blown her off and I do this to all the girls I like and end up dwelling on it for ages kicking myself.

 

I don't know how I'm going to get over this phobia when I feel so bad when It comes to talking to women I like, I don't really have a problem talking to female friends and girls I'm not intrested in, but if I see a girl I like, suddenly I start seeing them as a possible girlfriend and just tense up and freak out.

 

I just feel Im carrying a heavy weight on me all the time I feel a little depressed I'm fed up of friends telling me I need a girlfriend, somehow even my work m8s keep telling me I really need a girlfriend.

 

There are things I would like to see and do like go on holidays and go out for meals and just go places with someone, but cuz I'm single its stops me from doing it, having company of someone would be great, I tried going on a holiday by myself once and it seemed everywhere were couples and I felt lonely,

I just start thinking now is there any point of looking for a girlfriend had I better of just being single and just be by myself and just spent time doing hobbies and just get on by and movin on by myself and end up like that bloke out that film the 40 year old virgin

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You need to get over your fear of failure. It is holding you back. The only way to do that is to go for it and accept that failure is not that difficult to handle. Once you get over your fear of failure and stop holding yourself back from success, it gets easier. But, you need to take the first step yourself.

 

On an aside, if you friends always razz you when you mention a girl you are interested in, then don't do that. Appraoch the girl first. they are probably trying to do good by encouraging you, but the pressure is actually making you more anxious.

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It's normal to have fear and anticipation about talking to someone we like. But like you, this girl is only human. Trust me, she's got her fears and insecurities, too. Who doesn't?

 

Don't let your fears hold you back. Also realize, that she's not the only girl on the planet that you may be compatible with. Once you realize that she's human and that she's not the only one, you can overcome your fear enough to proceed forward.

 

Don't worry about what your friends say about needing a girlfriend. How do they know what you need? Only YOU do. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Always have no expectations. Having no expectations releases you from fear. It's something that I have learned with maturity.

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