Don't know where I'm going!!!!

[shoebaby1]

HI everyone I am new. Well me and my loving bf of 3 years broke up in May. We were having alot of trouble with fights, It was mostly me picking fights because of insecurities and things. I feel like I really want to change and make things better. The weird thing is my bf is going through alot in his life, he is still trying to figure out his career and get his own place. He is 26 and feels like he is getting old and needs to improve his life which I totally understand. We are not technically boyfriend and girlfriend but he wants to see me and hold my hand and talk to me on the phone but doesn't want to be in a relationship. I have talked to him and told him I will not be his friend with benefits, and he tells me he respects me too much and would not want to be my friend with benefits and that he doesn't want to be with anyone else, he wants to see how things go with us and take it one day at a time. I don't know what I am doing, I do know I love him with all my heart, and I know he loves me, I just wanted to see how you guys feel about this or what you guys think. Thanks

[Relationship Coach]

Hi and welcome to ENA!

 

Relationships can become taxing at times and weak relationships usually fall in to this very trap where you find yourself now. Fighting is never a good thing and when it becomes habit sometimes the relationship becomes a liability more so than an asset. Once this happens it starts sucking the life out of you and then you find yourself struggling in different areas of your life. It sounds to me as if you really want this to work out but he doubts there is a future based on your fights and insecurities. It's hard to focus on your future, career choice and financial goals when you are surrounded by negativity. You need to change and show him this change or let him go. There is much to repair here and you need to start with you, then the relationship. Back off a little from him, give him space and this will give you some time as well to work on you.

 

RC

[shoebaby1]

thanks for your advice, Its just so hard because we practically lived together and I miss him so much. He is my bestfriend