blame blame blame

[lost in the mix]

Is this a reasonable thing to just suffer through? My wife has left and when we even try to talk, it's just a barrage of blame of everything that went wrong.. If I even attempt to voice an opinion, I'm guilty of not listening. At first when she left it was because of my drinking, So I quit. Now it's about my temper...I feel she's taking EVERYTHING and blame-shifting from one fault to the next...Now I'm not dissagreeing with anything she's saying because what she's saying is the truth...What i'm wondering,,because I'm really at a loss here...Is there any contructive and patient,,non argumentive way that this can be separated into singular entities...So we can disscuss..one of my obvious infinite short-falls at a time?? I want to listen,,,keep my mouth shout and let her vent, but it's like she has a rolodex and just.....brrrrrrrrrr...Ding!...read that fu**er...remember that...I've got footnotes too!!!....It doesn't stop with one subject..

It's frustrating... I do understand where she's coming from...but this whole your and a-hole and here's my reason why thing is starting to wear thin..

[Relationship Coach]

OK, you made some mistakes and bad choices, you're human! She's going to spew like this for sometime so give yourself some space and then try to understand that the best way to control the topics in an orderly fashion is to go to counseling together. That is one of the functions of a good counselor, dealing with one issue at a time. Sounds like there is much to cover so you're probably looking at several sessions but if you want to fix things it's not going to happen over night. Are you sure you still want her?

 

RC

[lost in the mix]

i want her like a bee to a flower....lol...She's my world...We have three beauitiful kids....I love her..

[vandgsmom]

Well you have two options from the way I see it:

 

1) suck it up and take it like a man until she winds down (which I must say, you seem to be doing admirably...) and then tactfully try to either review each transgression separatly and with a modicum of decorum, or suggest counseling with a moderator in swat gear

 

OR

 

2) suck it up and take it like a man until she drives you nuts and you finally lash back out at her with something that just adds more fuel to her fire....

 

(I am suggesting option #1, BTW...lol and Good Luck!)