Birthday gift for GF, what else do I say?

[Boston]

My GF's birthday is coming up next month and I have an very touching gift to give her…my questions is if I was to hand write a letter to her to give with the gift, what would I say?

 

I want to tell her I want her back, and that even after 7 months apart I am still deeply in love with her. But I don't want to scare her away or come accross too heavy. But I still want to get the point accross.

 

The gift is a beautiful photo we saw together while backpacking out West a few summers ago. She absolutely loved it, but we both couldn't afford it at the time. She was just bonkers for it though. Anyways, I tracked it down from the East Coast and now have the original in my possession and will give it to her on her birthday…

 

So… what else do I say in the birthday letter? Do I just lay my heart out there for her to possibly smash again or do I just say some simple things and hope she calls me back and we start talking again and maybe then eventually met up?

 

Read this thread for the recent situation of my break up…

 

 

 

Any advice is good advice, thanks everyone!

[Relationship Coach]

A picture is worth a thousand words, so say nothing! Seriously, just give her the picture and leave it at that.

 

RC

[hosswhispra]

The fact that you're a guy and remembering her birthday is fricken' AMAZING!

 

No guy ever remembered my birthday.......

 

Yeah, so your idea is great....

 

Just being remembered on you birthday is an AWESOME feeling that I have yet to experience.

[Boston]

Does anyone else think I should write something? Or take RC addvice?

[Wishes]

Take RC advice. Dont write anything as you dont know where she is emotionally with you, and might take anything you say the wrong way.

 

She may feel uncomfortable, or feel like you are pushing her.

 

Just the picture - i say.

[Relationship Coach]

I think you should take RC's advice! LOL!

 

Think about it, what would you really want to say to her and what sort of reaction are you looking for? I think a good idea would be to write your letter here and then get some thoughts on it from others. No one really knows what you are thinking a letter is a pretty vague word.

 

RC

[heloladies21]

Well the fact that you're calling your ex of 7 months your gf shows you are definitely not over her and still have some unfinished business with her so do this. As far as the picture is concerned, it will not impact your situation, good or bad. What you really need to do is have another talk with her where you're very upfront and direct. Tell her you want to get back together with her right now, and if she wants anything less than that you would prefer to have No Contact. If she doesn't agree, or gives you anything other than an outright yes, you need to understand that what she's really saying is "No I'm not interested in getting back together with you ever." It's understanding what a person really means through their actions as well as their words, as well as learning from the experience of countless others in your exact situation.

 

These games of cat and mouse, reading into hidden meanings and messages in pointless because they're just words and are meaningless if she's not willing to act on them immediately. So no more reading into false hope, go get your final answer. Lay it all on the table, and believe it for real whatever answer she gives you, even if it's a no (and remember any kind of stall tactic is also a no). Give her a call right now, get this off your chest. You'll just be torturing yourself in the meantime wondering about it if you do otherwise.

[Boston]

So I did it, gave her the picture and a small hand drawen card that said "Happy Birthday Pretty Kitty" (We used to have pet names and all)... I left it all very nicely wrapped up at her front door on the morning of her birthday.

 

This is the responce I received later that day via email:

"Thanks for the picture and birthday wishes. It was very thoughtful of you to remember that I had liked that picture a year ago. The drawings were nice too. Never knew you had it in you. Hope you are doing well and that you had a nice summer and got a chance to go out and do some hiking and fishing. Thanks again."

 

I dont know what to think... two months ago I was getting hate mail from her, telling me how bitter and upset she still is at me. Then she started to send little text messages but stopped... now this responce to my gift....

 

Ugh... dont know what to think... or what to do next... I think I'll go back to NC, but I would love to hear other suggestions about how to ask her to meet up sometime so I could attempt to show her a good time and maybe we could slowly start things again. I do love her so.

 

Thanks everyone

[heloladies21]

Do not misread signs, nowhere in there did she express anything about wanting you back or that she's even considering it. That would be false hope, but if you have any doubt as to her true intentions, have that talk with her.

[moonflowers]

You've done a wonderful thing for her, and probably truly touched her heart. You've given her your best, and now the ball is in her court.

 

My personal suggestion: if she ever thinks of reuniting, let her come back to you - that way, you know that she's serious about it. From here on out, just let go - go back to your NC with no other expectations and hopes than for her and your well-being and happiness, either together or apart. I wish you the best.

[Bethany]

Like RC said, say nothing. Everything you need her to know will be said the minute she sees it, all the memories of that time will come back to her for sure. Whether she wants to come back to you though, is another matter.

 

It's a lovely gesture and I hope it works out for you but use your head, it's been 7 months and you don't want to end up back at square one, hurt and rejected all over again.

[Rivpt]

just my two cents, but it doesn't seem like anyone else brought this up...

 

you got her this amazingly thoughtful gift, which obviously took a lot of time and effort by you. my reaction to this situation is that she didn't even take the time to call you to say thanks? you'd think that with that gift, she would at the very least give you a call, and not just write an email saying "thanks, hope you had a good summer".

 

maybe i'm taking this the wrong way, but if this were me i'd be pretty pissed that my great thoughtful present didn't get half of the response that it warranted.