Jump to content

Confused abt GF's behaviour


tastelife
 Share

Recommended Posts

My gf lied to me and I'm confused abt her behaviour. Last week she ended up making out w/a guy at a club. She went out with him a couple more times after that but says nothing happened. Not really a huge deal but she went through many detailed and elaborate lies to cover it up. Even then seeming to only tell me the bare minimum. She said she was sorry (but didn't really act like it). I asked her if she wanted to see other people and that I would be ok with taking a step back while she figures out what she wants. She says no and gets very upset if I suggest that we move our relationship down to "just dating saying she doesn't want anyone else but me. Yet at the same time she's on internet dating sites (I've been a bit more vigilant since the lies), messing around with/seeing other guys and denying it all. I'm confused since I've given her the freedom to see other people yet she prefers to lie about it. What gives? I only want honesty.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm not really in a position to give advice since I am having relationship problems myself. But it sounds like your girlfriend wants everything - she wants the single life but she also wants you to be there hanging around for her when she's had her fun.

It seems like she wants to play around but doesn't want you to. If she wants you, she shouldn't be kissing other guys or looking on internet sites for guys. It shouldn't be that way. I certainly wouldn't do that to someone I thought a lot of.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My dear friend ,I was in the same spot a few months ago.I also wanted honesty out of her. same ol stuff lies and more complicated lies, suddenly i saw a lot of her cousins born left right and centre.she sneaked out on me a couple of times and i caught her .but the fact that i was too madly in love with her i let it be and even asked her the same thing as u did to be just dating, despite all her reassurances that she loved me i got hold of a conversation with this guy which blew the lid and i "dumped" her.

 

The confusion is bound to happen, if u read my post, i still miss her months after break-up.Its up to you to decide whether you want the realtionship or not, if you are too attached to her, just try and break loose and think it over rationally whether you will be able to continue in the future with someone who has lied to you and played with your emotions.It is not easy , but you must think it over from your head and decide what is best for you,just try n be selfish for some time.I went thru hell for months after the break up while she found someone new, barely weeks later..I sincerely hope your relationship does not end up like mine but having a practical approach would help you decide whether yu want this relationship or not.. good luck to u

cheers

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It's just confusing she claims to love me and I know that she would most likely be back when she realizes the grass isn't greener. I can withdraw my emotions which will make splitting with her easier. However if I turn off there's no turning on again if and when she returns. If I keep my hope amd love for her it will be painful and I'm sick of hurting. Thenks for the reply. Let me know if I can help with your situation in any way. I'm great at helping others just not myself!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, making out with a guy at a club, going out with him, lying about it, and being on dating sites would be a strong indication to me that her idea of an exclusive relationship is that you have to be exclusive and she does not.

 

If I were you I would dump her altogether.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, making out with a guy at a club, going out with him, lying about it, and being on dating sites would be a strong indication to me that her idea of an exclusive relationship is that you have to be exclusive and she does not.

 

If I were you I would dump her altogether.

 

I agree 100%.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, making out with a guy at a club, going out with him, lying about it, and being on dating sites would be a strong indication to me that her idea of an exclusive relationship is that you have to be exclusive and she does not.

 

If I were you I would dump her altogether.

 

 

Hate to say it, but I agree as well. She seems to have no respect for your wishes and it seems she isn't ready for a real relationship.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the support! I'm going to break it off this evening. I have a few hours to try and prepare for any curve balls she may throw at me. I've tried before but somehow failed because I wasn't prepared. She knows all my weak spots. I can only hope she won't use them!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thanks for the support! I'm going to break it off this evening. I have a few hours to try and prepare for any curve balls she may throw at me. I've tried before but somehow failed because I wasn't prepared. She knows all my weak spots. I can only hope she won't use them!

 

Don't let her target them, those are secondary. The main point is that she broke your trust and cheated on you. Keep that as your main focus and let her know she wronged you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I actually don't even plan to bring up how she's wronged me. She'll just get defensive and we both know what she did anyway. I'm going to tell her we can't see each other any more and that I wish her luck in the future. So long and thanks for all the fish, as it were. I don't want it to become a "he said, she said" contest or give her any opportunity to argue over minutae. You can't really argue with, "You lied to me, I don't trust you. I forgive you but it's over."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

ask her if she's ready for a commited relationship, from the sounds of it, she isn't ready for an exclusive relationship. I think she wants both but is confused herself. Ask her to re evaluate her relationship with you and ask herself what does she want. Tell her you don't want to share her with other guys. either you or them.

 

if she continues this behaviour, i'd find someone else that would make you happy.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...