Around and round and round again

[ElektraHere]

Hi

 

Does anyone else ever feel like they are in a revolving door with life? Like you just cant seem to hop out. You see it but zipppp it passes up again. You can see that the out is coming up soon but UGH you miss it again.

 

I feel like I am in this revolving doorway and everytime that opportunity comes up I miss it. My timing is always off.

 

If you did feel like this how were you able to finally get out?

[annie24]

hm.. honestly, no. i can't say that i've ever felt that way.

 

but why do you think it is happening to you? is it because you are taking too long to make a decision, or are you taking too short of a time to make a decision?

 

do you know exactly what you are looking for, and how to get there? that can make "finding the door" a lot easier.

[ElektraHere]

I just feel that my timing is always off. That I speed up and that doesnt get me to where I want to be. Then everyone screams SLOW DOWN. By the time I realize it or hear it (sigh) again too late.

 

I am looking for contentment, acceptance, love, and worthiness.

[annie24]

you do feel DEEP DOWN that you are worthy of love, contentment, and acceptance? that is a big roadblock for most.

 

did you pick up "the art of happiness?" I really think there is some wisdom in there that you may relate to and that can help you.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

Hey Elektra

 

Sorry to hear you are feeling down.

 

I know what you are taking about...and I have felt that way at times in my life. When i start feeling like that i usually take some time for myself and regroup - to think about what i want and need. Thats when i realize i need to take a minute and listen to myself. When I start feeling like that it's usually because i need to nurture myself.... i'm not doing the things i need to do that me happy.. Does that make sense?

 

As for love, acceptance, worthiness etc... those are things you need to find within yourself... - you need to do and become involved in things that build your confidence so you can begin to see all that you are worthy of.

[Lady Bugg]

Yes I can say I have felt my timing is off. Mainly because I am terrified of how something may or may not turn out...so I do nothing..or I analyze it to death instead of just letting things flow naturally. Timing IS everything though..its just a matter of realizing when it's the RIGHT time.

[annie24]

well, actually, I take back what I said - I have had timing issues myself.

 

career and relationships are very different. in a career, you see a job you want, you jump at it, persue it, get it, and that is valuable. you can't really "go with the flow" at work. bosses like people with enthusiasm who go after what they want.

 

unfortunately, I've found relationships aren't the same way. trying to make a friendship or a relationship work in that way... things just won't work. like ladybugg said - things have to flow naturally. I've had problems when I don't "just letting things happen" instead, I tried MAKING them happen, like I do at work. That has never worked out well for me.

 

I think back to one relationship I mesed up a few years back. I liked this guy, and I could tell he had a thing for me, but he wasn't making any moves. i thought about just letting things flow, but I was afraid I'd become "friendzoned" and i got tired of waiting for him. so, I made a move, we started dating for a while, but it became awkward quickly and he broke up with me. I think if i had maybe just let things happen, that maybe he would have been more certain of the relationship and things would have worked out. But i think because I persued him, maybe that freaked him out a bit, or maybe he wasn't ready at the time, for whatever reason, so he broke it off with me. or maybe it was never meant to be. maybe even if I had gone with the flow, maybe we never would have gotten together, but maybe we'd still be friends.

 

*sigh*

[hosswhispra]

Yes I can say I have felt my timing is off. Mainly because I am terrified of how something may or may not turn out...so I do nothing..or I analyze it to death instead of just letting things flow naturally. Timing IS everything though..its just a matter of realizing when it's the RIGHT time.

 

Yes...I could not agree more.

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

i do too...i have felt that way many times...

[Dako]

Never felt that way, but sometimes a treadmill was my fate, and the same situations appeared because my habitual responses kept me on the same dull path.

[renaissancewoman101]

Sometimes, if you shake things up, that might help to reset the timing. Like do stuff that you are not used to doing, making decisions that are not the usual. Be out of the ordinary. Get out of the box. Sometimes that helps to reset things and get things going again.

 

I do know how you feel. I feel like I missed the boat a lot of times, esp when it comes to relationships. I usually am too afraid to ask guys out and I miss the opportunity. Or when I DO ask someone out, I dont do it right, or the timing is NOT right, and I get turned down.

 

Or when people answer my ads, the guy I pick to go out with, turns out to be the jerk.

 

Oh yeah! I know how you feel. That's why I hate dating.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Hi Electra Here,

 

I do know what you mean - that I can't sometimes quite get the hang of it all, and that my timing is rubbish. Sticking to long at some things, giving other things up too quickly, and all that.

 

The only conclusion I've come to - and I'm not sure if this is appropriate - but it's that the only regrets I have are things I DIDN'T do, not the things that I did. Someone wiser than me said that's how we'll feel on our deathbeds - we won't regret the things that we took a chance on and which didn't work out; what we will regret are the things we didn't say, the chances we didn't take, the opportunities we let slide by.

 

One of my resolutions for this year was to take more risks. Not necessarily physical risks, but emotional risks, to push myself out of my comfort zone and take a chance. It's quite hard to work on though, because it's a bit woolly. But to not take the easy option, because it's more 'comfortable'. So go for that job, chat to that person, go and meet different people...stuff a lot of people do without any angst, eh?!!

 

Good luck - I think the fact that you are thinking about all this puts you a huge step ahead already. I do agree 'that the unexamined life is not worth living'.

 

Cheers!