Friends with ex?

[monkey1]

I'm curious, how many of you could remain friends with your ex after you broke up? Were you friend before you got together?

[Ians Mommy]

I'm still friends with 3 of my ex's. I was friends with 2 of them before we actually had a relationship.

[Spawn]

hmm...we were friends before we got together but the split was not amicable lot of trust issues and all that comes with it, so not friends anymore.

[LostInMyThoughts]

I was *best* friends with my ex before we got involved.

 

After the divorce, I can't stand her.

 

Its possible to remain friends, but I've heard it's better to wait a while before taking that step. Most people need time to heal and get over the relationship, even if it was amicable. Forcing friendship hinders that process.

[Slagar]

Hmm, the results of this thread interest me also

 

I'm "friends" with two of my exs, as in, we're on good terms, and say hi when we see eachother (so no, not really)

My most recent ex, well, I'm kind of undecided at this stage. I've put a lot of thought into it, but I'm still unsure... because, I could actually remain friends with her, just because of the nature of how things were with her. She's really a one-of-a-kind person too, and I like her. I certainly don't _love_ her anymore, but she's just not like a person I've ever met before. We still talk every day pretty much. But I am also aware that she's out meeting guys again, and I'm not quite sure if I should stick around to see how I feel when I see her with one of them. So I'd _like_ to be friends with her, but I'm a little scared of not moving on effectively, even though I feel largely "over" it, and enjoying single life. It's an intricate puzzle. I should perhaps post on this

 

Oh, btw, I wasn't friends with any of them before going out with them.

[itsallgrand]

I'm not friends with any exs. I'm sure I could have been friends with a certain one if circumstances hadn't made it impossible to contact him now. Sometimes it is best to let things be.

 

If the current man and I broke up, I believe we could be friends again. We've been excellent friends prior and during.

It would take a good long time before friendship would resume though. Honestly, losing the friendship would be as difficult as losing him as a partner.

[Jane0815]

No universal law here. Ditto what LiMT says.

 

Most of my ex's have tried to stay friends. (No, not in a in-the-pants way - that would have been MY condition for "staying friends".) I don't really care for having many guy friends though. There has to be some common interest for that to happen, and the friendship only lasts as long as the joint activity goes on. Sports or hobby or volunteer work or work or whatever.

[shes2smart]

I'm on a friendly basis with only one of my exes (my former college bf). We did not have a platonic friendship established before we started dating. I think there are a few specific reasons the friendship between us was able to develop post-break-up:

 

1. the break-up was amicable -- there was no cheating or other negative event that brought on the break-up....we just grew apart/grew up

 

2. there was a period of about a year after the break-up where we didn't have any contact with each other. when we resumed contact, it wasn't forced, there was no agenda to "be friends"...the resumption of contact happened through a series of events that occurred on their own

 

3. his parents/step parents had given him a great working example of being friends with exes...his mom & dad divorced and remarried other people when he was a pre-teen. over time, he saw his mom & stepdad and his dad & stepmom socializing together and even going on vacations together.

 

With the rest of my exes...I wish them well, I hope they are happy...but I don't need to hear from them or see them again in my lifetime. (Well, unless the old man who cheated on me kicks the bucket and leaves me a lil' $omething out of a guilty conscience...then I'd be happy to hear from his lawyer or the executor of his will

[xblondyx]

With my most recent ex, we were friends for 6 years before we got together, things didnt work out, we did stay friends but are no longer friends now.

 

On the other hand, a guy I met through a friend who i dated for a while are still really good friends

 

It just depends on the break up I guess.

[Shadows Light]

I'm friends with most of my x-bf's. but that came after a time.

 

I was friends with my x-h b4 we married. In the divorce he took the "scorched earth" path... so I doubt we could ever be friends again.

[joeG]

I'm very good friends with my "first". We were in puppy love, from 14-16. We had a horrible relationship, and didn't keep in contact when I moved out of town.

 

However I was close with her family. Her little brother always looked to me as a brother, and I stayed in contact with them. When we were both about 20, we started talking again. And are great friends. There is absolutely no flame there at all. It's nice to have a friend around that does know a lot about you, especially relationship wise, they can offer some great advice.

[BBHFutureAllAmerican]

i've only been in 2 real relationships n i don't say a word to either one of them but i was friends with them before we got invovled but now i honestly have nothing to say to them one has been about a year since we broke up n the other one has been about 3 months n still don't even think i need to say hi to them in the hallways

[BrokenWingedFaery]

I'm only friends with one of my many ex's.

[Danikka]

I am still friends with many of my ex's. If you don't completely screw each other over eventually it seems only right that someone you cared deeply for should be able to be your friend, although some new bf's /gf's won't like it. The friendship doesn't usually come right away though.

[purpleskies]

I have only had two boyfriends before my current relationship.

 

With my first boyfriend, we weren't really friends before. After the breakup, (which was mutual because we felt like there seemed to be no chemistry )I swear we became closer than when we were together! In a friends way though. I still talk to him, and occasionally we get together and hang out. So it's all good there.

 

My second boyfriend, however, we seem to be on NC most of the time. He broke up with me, because he still had feelings for his ex, and everything felt awkward after. We decided to stay friends, but we rarely ever talk anymore. I don't know why, it just feels uncomfortable. And we WERE friends before we started going out.

 

I don't know, maybe being friends before affects the breakup differently?