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dumper making effort?


cherriecheek
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so its been over a month since i last seen my ex and 2 months since we broke up. since then, i have not called, texted or IMed him. the few times i spoke to him i was not upset and didnt bring up the outcome of our relationship.

 

since July, we spoke via IM three times, and all three times he initated the contact. asking me "hows it going?" my question is...why would he even take the time or effort to contact me if he was the one who broke it off?

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Yes, maybe he miss you, maybe he just want to see if you're ok. Or maybe he just want a proof that you cannot live without him, that would give him a sense of power and instant gratification. Your silence must make him wonder why you're not chasing after him since he's the one who broke up.

 

I find it surprising too but it seems that we all compare ourselves to our ex's in term of success. If you're doing good and he's doing miserably then he will be the loser. If you're miserable and he's doing good then it means that he was right to break up with you. In fact he will be jealous because there are chances that he still think you're his "property"... It might have something to do about our ape ancestors and making our territory as male...

 

See, if you fall madly in love with another prince charming only a couple of months after the break up he will ask himself: how can she get over me that fast, am I not the best thing she ever knew!?!?! and that will make him furious against you even if he's not with you anymore and if he was the one who bailed out.

 

Don't think much of it, next time he ask you how it's going just tell him you're doing great and that you're seeing someone these days, he is going to get all curious about who he is and what he does, tell him he doesn't know him and finish the conversation quickly. Maybe next time he won't be so quick to contact you and maybe he'll be in for some doubts about himself too.

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freeyourmind, i couldnt agree with you more.

 

we really do compare ourselves to our exes probably more often than we should. i cant think of one person who doesnt slightly hope that their ex doesnt start dating first...especially with someone more attractive...both personality and appearance. even after the breakup, even after you go months without communicating, there are still games.

 

an ex can communicate with you out of nowhere, and chances are, they are communicating with you for themselves. they are sizing up which person in the ex relationship is moving on faster, dating quicker and ultimately benefiting more from the breakup. there comes a time when it doesnt matter if your the dumper or dumpee, whats important is how you carry YOURSELF after the break up.

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