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Ex is back in the picutre


doglover
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I need advice. I started dating a great guy that I had known as a friend years ago. We seemed to connect right away. We have both come out of bad breakups (his more recent than mine). He said that his marriage was all behind him and he wanted to move on with his new life. His wife had kicked him out five times in as many months. He was very hurt. Every time she wanted he back, he returned only to be hurt again. He had soooo many stories of how his life with her started out great, but ended so badly. He told me so many things about her that made his life miserable. Anyway, everything with us seemed great until, of course, she came back into the picture. At first, he ignored her advances, then his father passed away and she came to town to be with him and his family. Since then, I believe he is considering going back to her. I think he has been honest with me and I know he is spending time with her. He had actually said that he loved me and I felt the same towards him. Now I am crushed and confused. I have told him that I would back out of the situation and I am not cotacting him which is killing me. On one hand, I want to know if he went back and on the other hand, I don't want to know. I don't know if I am more afraid that I will hear from him again or I won't. I have been hurt so badly in the past and I am feeling that same pain again. I know that it best that I don't contact him and I feel that she will hurt him again but there is nothing I can do. Do I try and forget this great guy or do I keep the hope that he will be back someday? I really don't think that he is a bad person for this, he is was just not ready. I don't know if he really loved me or just thought he did. I just know that I love him. Has anyone had a similiar experience and how did it turn out?

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You deserve someone that is able to make you #1 in their life, as does everyone. It is immature, selfish, and irresponsible to be in a serious relationship with someone when you have feelings for someone else that you have not figured out yet. By you I mean him obviously, communicate find out whats up, if indeed he has feelings to deal with, I would give him an ultimatum.

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Hi

 

You have to be caution. As long as he is not legally divorced, he is still a husband to her. And you are not in a strong position.

 

Only have a relationship with him when he is legal divorced and not staying with his x-wife anymore.

 

This is because any undivorce man would claimed that his wife treat him badly and etc... yet, he would still return to his wife.

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Doglover,

 

I couldn't help but feel very sad when reading your post. Your fear and insecurity can be read LOUD and clear... so I just wanted to make some observations..

 

You asked, "Should I try and forget this great guy..." and the answer might be yes, for now. Sometimes people are totally compatible and great for each other, but the unfortunate truth is, timing is everything. He probably is a great guy who is reeling from his mixed feelings over the ex. I'm sure he's not trying to hurt you, but it does sound (from the very limited information given) that he is probably not emotionally ready to completely separate from his ex. That being the case, maybe it's time to move on, at least until he is ready.. and not still using his ex as a bandaid/emotional crutch

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Hello Friend,

The breeze that blows from the sea carries a lot of comfortness to email to you this letter.How is the life treating you? I guess you are responding socially and positional over there.The main reason for emailing to you this letter is that i want to be friend and How do you think of this? Is always shock to find a new stranger e-mailing to you without known and be in animate to read his or her email and then email back to the person.I will like to tell you something about myself to you.

I am called Agbanu Fafafe.I am 20 years of age.I am living in Kumasi the second largest city in Ghana and place where culture things are made for sale.I am intelligent guy and I am now in Senior High. I attend school at Armed Force senior Secondary school in the garden city of West Africa {Kumasi}. My hobbies are making fun to friends,listening to music,exchange of gifts,danmcing,sports,doing culture things,hanging out with friends and many others.I am the first born to my family.

I will be much be much estancy and thrills to hear from you soon.Extend my wamly greetings to the entire family and introduce me to the family about your new friend and If you think you are not wiling to have me as your friend why don't you hang me to someone who wants friends? I will like to draw the curtains down and Hoping to hear from you soon.Bye for now and Remain bless from Ghana.

Your New Friend

Agbanu

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Thanks for the replies. He hasn't contacted me in almost two weeks, I take that as a sign that he is back with his wife. Even if he is not, he apparently doesn't want to see me right now. I DO understand where his head is right now, I have been there. I just keep beating myself up for getting so involved with someone too early. I think I was ready but not him. I am kinda angry that he didn't even say goodbye. Why do you think that is? Is he just a coward, or he hopes I will hang around in case it doesn't work with his wife? I really don't think it will work out for them but would I really want him back if he contacts me? These are really hard questions, I know it is wrong of me to not want him to be with his wife. After all, she had him first. I guess I didn't mean to him what I thought. It really hurts, I am not contacting him but I keep wanting to ask someone he knows what is going on. I KNOW that too would be a mistake because it will hurt either way. I just need to move on. If he does contact me at some point, I will deal with that then. I miss him terribly even thought we had a short lived relationship. I hope I haved learned something from this all. I would really appreciate any other words of wisdom.

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