I've felt like killing myself lately

[crazy kid]

my whole life sucks. I have no friends, every "friend" I ever made eventually started calling me a loser and a * * * * * *. that's all I ever have in my head, memories of people making fun of me and calling me ugly. I couldn't even beat those kids up because they were the group I hung out with so if I did beat them up then I'd have NO kids to hang out with and I'd feel like crap so I let them mentally abuse me everyday.

 

I could never get a girlfriend, I'm too quiet and loserish for that. All I do all day everyday for the past 2 years is sit on my goddamn computer. I have no friends to go out with.

 

I really would like to be dead seeing as there is no upside for me to stay alive, I have no one to talk to and I am constantly bored. The only reason I haven't tried killing myself yet is because i'm scared that taking a bottle of pills would just ruin my liver but still keep me alive.

 

School sucks for me, I have no attention span and it's impossible for me to learn anything, I am failing everything. I can't get a job cuz I'll be too depressed to go there everyday. I've been taking medicine and been going to therapists and psychiatrists for the past 2 years. nothing helps. all they say is "well the best thing for you to do is keep coming to therapy" * * * I want advice you damn doctors.

 

I don't know what to do anymore.

[cristalgold]

How old are you? I have to tell you that we've all been through some * * * *ty times, but they don't stay that way. You just have to have patience. What type of town do you live in? Is it a small one where everyone knows one another? You might want to try different activities that may interest you and try meeting new friends. Your friends suck. They actually aren't your friend if they say * * * * like that about you.

 

You aren't a loser. Don't let anybody make you believe you are. I've been out of school a while. I know many of the 'popular' kids who have turned out to be what many would call a loser. I also know many so called losers who have turned out to be the money makers, the person every one wants to know, the life of the party.

 

I guess what I'm saying is that you go thru the hard times and that shapes you in the future. It won't be like this forever, but I pray you stick it out to find out what the future holds. Please don't kill yourself. Your life is very precious. Stick it to those who call you names by showing them you're the opposite. Stay around for a while. Grow. Try new things. Get the hell off the computer and try something new. You deserve. You're not a loser.

[nottoogreen]

Hi crazy kid,

 

Welcome to eNotAlone!

 

I agree with cristalgold. You are not a loser, don't listen to others talking bad. Develop yourself for your future.

 

We should talk about all that hurt and angers you.

 

Could you please tell us how are you doing with mom and dad?

 

Please learn and always remember this.

• You are precious, your life is precious and you deserve to be happy!
  
• Look after your body and love yourself!
  
• When someone hurt or abused you it was not your fault!
  
• You have a future, you always will as long as you do not give up!
  
• You deserve to be understood, but to expect understanding is very foolish.
  
• Regrets are the most difficult feelings to deal with.
  
• Life often is like three steps forward and one step back. Expect setbacks and do not let setbacks bother you. Just move along your chosen path.
  
• All you can be is a loving healthy being to another loving healthy being. Being can be combinations of Parent/Child, Partner, Friend, Lover and Master/dog.
  
• Realistic expectations. Carefully consider your expectations as unrealistic expectations breed resentment and set you up for failure.
  
• Be realistic about your ability and carefully consider your ability as your failure to meet your expectations hurts you and may hurt others.
  
• Patience and persistence. Changing any situation or yourself takes time and effort. Changing your feelings takes time and is often painful. It does make sense to endure reasonable pain for a better happier future.
  
• Adaptability of your mind. Your biggest strength is that your mind adapts to what you do often and the more so, the more motivated you are. As you move up, your mental ability increases. This strength is also your biggest weakness as your mental ability decreases when you are frustrated or unmotivated. Your mind also adapts to negative thinking. Thus it is important to think positive!
  
• Break circles of thought. If you realize that you think or fear the same again and again, break out of it by telling yourself: STOP, NO WORRIES. Divert your thoughts away from a circle of thought. The Mental survival activities or Exercise activities below may be of help to distract you.
  
• Mental survival activities. Develop one or more mental activities which can occupy your mind and give you a sense of calmness and accomplishment. One activity should be as simple as possible in order to be performable at any time. Exercise these activities regularly. Examples are: writing poems, writing down feelings, drawing, a journal and reading. Use the Exercise activities below as alternative and for backup. Be prepared and never run out of supplies to perform these activities. These activities train you on focusing your mind and give you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Exercise activities. Develop an interest in one or more physical activities and perform these regularly. Examples are push-ups, sit-ups, running, swimming and biking. At least have one activity you can perform in your room and one out-door activity. Exercise is healthy and gives you a sense of accomplishment.
  
• Be sure you have enough sleep. Sleep deprivation makes manic and leads to countless secondary problems from anxiety, over-acting, over-excitement, over-thinking to under-performing. If you can't sleep, perform Mental survival activities and/or Exercise activities until you relax enough to fall asleep. Given training and experience, you will relax and fall asleep! No pills needed!
  
• KISS - Keep It Simple Stupid. Do not over-act, over-excite or over-think.
  
• Help - If you have questions or need help, please post or seek professional help!