Just something about him.....

[Twilight777]

I met a guy a couple weeks ago who showed a lot of interest in me. He's good-looking, talented, and very sweet to me... but there's just something that bothers me. I couldn't really pinpoint it at first, but it's something about his personality. He tends to brag about things/situations.... like he's in junior high school or something... he's 24 years old. There's also the fact that no one seems to really like him that much. The last guy I dated everyone was so excited and LOVED the guy... With this (current) particular guy everyone's attitude seems to be, "are you sure you like him? 'Cuz you can do way better." I've had more than one person tell me that, and it's also nothing that they can really pinpoint either.

 

Can anyone relate? There's just something me that's bothering me... 'cuz otherwise he's great, he's very gentlemanly, he seems to be caring (yet selfish at the same time? Does that make sense?).

 

I'm so confused... My friends say he's really becoming more and more interested... but the thought of calling him my "boyfriend" kinda terrifies me at the moment.

[lozic21]

If I were you I think I would go with my gut instinct about this guy. Do you really like him or would you be settling because he shows a lot of interest in you?

 

IMO I think the whole bragging thing would really get to me, but have you said anything to him about it? Maybe he is just trying to impress you because he does like you so much.

[RayKay]

Hmm, the gut can really tell you a lot, if you listen to it.

 

I dated someone whom kinda bragged about things too.....he was really ultimately someone whom needed to reassert himself and be reassured by others he was "worthy" and well honestly, it also sometimes meant putting others down. He too was very caring....and turned out to also be selfish. And the latter came out the longer we were together where at first he was the ultimate boyfriend - caring, a gentleman, affectionate and even romantic. As time went on, the selfish, cold side came out.

 

I think the reason it bothers you is basically it shows a lack of confidence and perhaps an immaturity. And your friends may be even more in tune to something wrong...

 

I would proceed cautiously, paying attention to the red flags, and if your gut starts screaming, maybe decide to listen very closely to it.

[Twilight777]

I think I might be settling, too. I always thought of myself as the person who gave "misunderstood" people chances to prove everyone wrong. so I think that's why I put up with the bragging...because to be honest, it does bother me. And while we have great conversations, when it gets to the point where he starts putting on the "macho man" routine, I just want him to shut up. The sad thing is that if someone just saw him, and heard him perform (he's in a band), they would probably fall for him, but the minute he opens his mouth it all kinda gets wiped away. Is that awful for me to say? But in a way, I feel like if I can get passed that, I'd be okay. Do you think it's possible to just get passed that? Or would that leave me with something way superficial?

 

At this point I haven't said anything to him about it, because I don't want to hurt his feelings. Is there an appropriate way to bring it up and tell him that it bothers not only me but others people as well?

[lozic21]

That's tough to bring that up and not hurt his feelings or make him insecure. lol, if you lose your attraction to him the minute he opens his mouth, I don't think he is the guy for you. If you are looking for something just out of convienance, then maybe, but in the long run it will probably bother you even more.

 

I agree being in a band is hot, but probably shouldn't outweigh the fact that he is annoying you when he isn't on stage

[now_better]

The sad thing is that if someone just saw him, and heard him perform (he's in a band), they would probably fall for him, but the minute he opens his mouth it all kinda gets wiped away. ... But in a way, I feel like if I can get passed that, I'd be okay.

 

I think you answered your own question.