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Need advice, from BrokenHearted.


Irishman
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Since my last post, she called me Sat 12th Aug...no message...then again yesterday afternoon...no message....then this morning I heard through the grapevine that she got her new job she wanted...had interview just when she broke up with me...anyway..knowing that she wasn't home I left a message on her machine telling her that I wished her well in her new position and that I know that she will do well, ending off with Take care...that's all..nothing else.....but would like to know any ideas about the phone calls?

 

I would like to thank all of you kind people for taking the time to help me along, I don't think that I could have done this NC without you...

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seems like you did the noble thing as long as you were calm and concise with your voicemail. but honestly, dont call your ex when you know she can't pickup, especially when your tone seems to be serious. if you are going to say something nice like that have the confidence to at least give her the option to pickup or let your call go to voicemail. she did call you twice...elaborate on why you didn't pickup. you need the C, take some vitamins . if you shy away from talking to her on the phone than how would anything more than that be comfortable?? she'll know your intention by calling at that time. it will be clear that you are choosing to talk into her voicemail rather than to her. i wouldn't contact her...duke it out with some NC for a while. make the effort, be a workhorse to take some time off from this whole situation. turn your daily pace up a notch and go places you have never been. but dont broadcast what you are doing or how you feel. be mysterious - always offer her less information about yourself than she does to you. you gotta be confident in yourself and attempt to remain as unbothered by this situation as possible, whether she is still interested or not. believe me, regardless of WHEREVER she is at in her thoughts and emotions, that will trigger a desire in her to find out whatever is locked up in that melon of yours. if she really, really wants to know she'll try and find out. so make her work for it. dont show your cards too soon and jump on the first, second, third, etc signal she gives you. If you have a cat you'll understand teh dangle theory.

 

so that was the bad news. the good news my friend is that she was contacting you, which means you are on her mind. makes the weight of her on yours lighter, no doubt. you called her did something cordial, so let that be a springboard to now stop giving her more than she gives you. please dont begin to look for excuses to contact her! let her do that if she misses you. BUT, if you want her back you have to allow for some interaction -- if you can act as cool as 007. dont hide away on her voicemail, but be a challenge. be the pimp a** self you were when you hooked her for the first time

 

best of luck bro keep us updated.

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