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Is she really supposed to be a friend???


Gracelove
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There is this girl I've known since childhood.

 

She always seemed to like me, but as a child I wasn't too fond of her.

 

We would play together, but she was always getting into trouble, so we were opposites (this is like when we were 5 years old).

 

N-Eways we've been around each other since birth.

Our mothers were pregnant around the same time and we were christened (spelling?) together as infants.

 

She stated that her mother used to constantly compare her to me when we were children and it apparently upset her.

However I wasn't around when that occurred, and I couldn't have controlled that anyways.

 

[Just a little background information].

 

She is untrustworthy. She lies. She tries to sabotage me any chance she gets. She's extremely negative, and loves to put me down.

Most friends are happy when something is going well for you in life...she, on the other hand, is joyful when everything is going bad for me.

 

My dad thinks that she is a wonderful friend, because she's always around to help me.

 

But how does she help me? If I invite her somewhere, she'll go.

But that's about it. I don't get it. I don't socialize with her anymore anyways.

 

She'll do things for my dad if he asks her to, but that's all about appearance and perhaps money.

 

She helped me move into my apartment months ago, but my dad paid her.

 

I mean, when she does things like that, it's really sweet.

I appreciate when she helps.

 

But the bad far out weighs the good.

 

I can't trust her, I have to watch what I say around.

 

If I was a super-star, she'd sell all of my secrets to the tabloid.

Actually, in addition to that, she'd make lies, and sell those to the tabloids.

 

In the past, she has lied to others in an attempt to destroy "my image".

 

Don't get me wrong, I love her, I consider her to be somewhat like a sister, and if she ever needed help, I'd be there to help her.....

 

Am I really supposed to still be her friend because we've known each other since childhood????

 

Or should we just be long-distance aquaintances?

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Well I believe you already answered that question yourself. By what you're telling us you like the girl but you don't love her. She's a friend because she's been there for so long but you're that fond of her because she's so negative and untrustworthy.

 

Why do you keep her around if you don't trust her and if anytime she can she try to destroy your image? Maybe she's not a friend after all, just a girl that you're used to have around. It's not like you owe her anything.

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awww...This sucks. I'm in the same boat as you. with the same questions as you.What I've come up with with my last month of this debate in my mind is.

 

You can't trust her -BIGGEST PART OF A FRIENDSHIP

You don't consider her a true friend - more like a sister that you are stuck with

You appreciate what she does for you- but you would no matter who did them ie. if anyone helped you move you would be thanking them. (a real friend would have done it for free)

 

So really when it comes down to it. When you are with her you are careful of what information you devulge. And in your mind doubting your friendship & loseing respect for her (rightfully so) So really you are being FAKE around her. Faking being friends. Faking trusting her.

Maybe the best thing you can do for yourself is drop her.

free yourself of this & sourround yourself with positive like minded poeple who really care about you & your happiness.

Anything less is compramising yourself & Ramirez is right...you don't owe her anything

best wishes

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I believe you really did answer the question yourself lol. If you really have such a hard time talking to her about yourself or anything for that matter how well of friends can you guys be. Not to mention friends do not do things to hurt each other. By saying that she tries to destroy your image, and would make up lies about you to smite you is a pretty devious thing to do. Perhaps her parents put so much pressure on her by comparing the two of you so much that she feels threatened and that's why she feels happy to know that you're not perfect. Doesn't matter, that absolutely doesn't justify her actions and she seems to only care about herself from the way you put it. I wouldn't advise you to really be close to her. A simple friendship or Aquaintenceship perhaps but i honestly wouldn't recommend caring much about someone like her.

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