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What will she think/do if I keep ignoring her calls?


frigginexes
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I am currently doing NC with my ex of 2 years. I have been in NC for almost 1.5 mos. I started NC cause I was her "spare tire," "doormat," whatever you wanna call it, and although I have tried to be her friend while she runs back and forth with another guy so I snapped, turned into an ***hole and started NC, she wasn't happy about it, but it has been STRICT NC from my end.

 

So now she has started calling from an anonymous number for the past week about 5 times a day, no messages, no voicemails, nothing - I know it's her cause only she would call me private.

 

I have no clue what she wants and why she is calling so much and why she isn't calling from her normal number. Then today I got this weird text from 5000? that said "you/maybe somday?" I'm thinking I got the end of some weird text that may be from her too.

 

I don't get why she is doing this and I'm trying to move on but am still in love with her and always wonder if we would of had a shot at a second chance. I have been ignoring all the calls. Does anyone know why she may be doing this?

 

Should I keep ignoring them? If I do keep ignoring them will she get pissed off, try another way to get in touch or give up?

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friggin - I'm sorry that's going on. Like it's not tough enuff to DO the NC in the first place!! Ya know?

 

I do think you should keep ignoring her attempts at contact. I think she will eventually give up but that's a good thing. She needs some real time and space to really think about why and what about you she misses.

 

Good luck. Post here if continuing to ignore her gets tough.

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Hey, first of all I would like to congratulate you on being strong and keeping NC, we all know how hard it is.

 

About your situation, ask yourself this, do you still care/love for her and are you willing to get back with her if she wanted to get back. If the answer is yes then, next time when she calls pick up and ask her why she keeps calling you. If her answer isn't about getting back together, tell her that you are trying to move since SHE dumped you. Tell her you are busy with a lot of stuff now and you have to go.

 

I don't know if the above is the correct thing to do but thats what I would do if I was in your situation.

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Yeah I thought about picking up and saying something like that, but I am so afraid that picking up will set me back. Do you think if she really wanted me back she would find another way to contact me or actually leave a message? Does anyone know why she is playing these phone games?

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i would totally keep ignoring her. play dumb. "oh really, that was YOU calling from that blocked number? weird! i had no idea!" she probably wants you to think, "oh, unknown caller, it must be my love, _____!" and that works in her favor because she wants to know your reaction to her. if you do jump to those conclusions, and you call her back saying "dear god, i was hoping you would call me, let's work it out!" then she'll just go back to making you her doormat. if you hold back while she plays these games she'll have no choice but to be more direct if she TRULY wants something from you.

 

i would wait to call her back until she decides to be a big girl and actually calls me from her own number, leaves a voicemail, etc. because right now she's not giving you ANYTHING. unless you hear "i miss you and i'd like to try again"--which you will eventually if she's honestly interested--you can just sit back and relax.

 

and besides, most people wouldn't call ANYONE back if they didn't leave a voicemail stating their purpose, so why make her the exception?

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Ya it is true that lets say you do pick up and it turns out she doesn't want to get back but she is just calling to comfort herself or whatnot, then of course you will be set back. But if you keep ignoring the calls, it will keep bugging you and technically you will not get 100% complete closure. So it is up to you if you are ready to take the risk.

 

I was in a situation where i did not get closure but I finally made a move and even though the result wasn't what I thought it would be at least I got closure. (if you are interested you can search for my posts)

 

Anyways back to what is at hand. About her finding another way to contact you if she really wanted to get back....I'm not sure how her personality is only you do, but I'm going to be optimistic and say that maybe her calling you constantly is her way of trying to do that. The only other way would be her going to your door.

 

In the end its kinda a win-win situation if you do pick up and find out what her reason for calling you is:

 

1) she just wants to talk as friends, then at least now you know and you can tell her you are trying to move on and it'd be nice if she doesn't call you anymore. Now you have closure

 

2) she says she wants to get back. Then if you feel like it you can then its all good

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But if you keep ignoring the calls, it will keep bugging you and technically you will not get 100% complete closure. So it is up to you if you are ready to take the risk.

 

i'm not sure if i agree with that. my ex emailed me once and even though i was dying to respond, it was very empowering not to give him the time of day. depends on how you look at it.

 

i guess it might not be terrible just to pick up once, but IMO i think you should avoid it.

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If you think you're not strong enough to pick up, then don't, but spending all this time thinking about her true intentions in contacting you isn't doing anything good for you either It's occupying your time, preventing you from making progress in your recovery.

 

I'm a big fan of getting an answer anytime you have a question. Do you think she might be interested in getting you back? Find out. Is she just feeling you out to see if you're still there? Find out. Is she just going crazy? There's only one way to get the answer to all these questions. Just remember that you always have to stick up for yourself and what you want if you're being disrespected

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Keep ignoring her calls and don't worry about how it affects her. At the end of the day, she is calling you from a *private* number - so she coud easily deny making the calls (even if it *is* her making them).

 

She is risking NOTHING by making the calls from an unidentified number, so why should you risk anything at all by contacting her?

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I almost thought about having somone else answer for me to take a message. Its not surprising that she would call private, but this many times is strange. Seems she has problems telling me what she wants sometimes and wants me to do all the work. So you think she'll start being more direct if she is really wanting me to pick up?

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