Need help, would you concider this cheating?

[1finger]

ok would you concider PORN cheating?

 

Ok, let me get into better detail.

 

Would you concider cheating when porn becomes the meens of one partners only sexual contact ? Tot he point that the other person in the relationship is not getting any sort of sexual contact from the other.

 

Would you say it is cheating when you stop all sex because one person is using porn as their meens for sexual gradifcation, and leaveing the other person to satisfy them self ?

 

Do you think that porn could or is a addiction that neds to be treated or is it soemthing people over react to?

 

I need help and answers from both males and female please, i find myslef in all these situations with my husband and am at the end of my rope. What would you do ? How would you feel?

 

Confused in Colorado

[n83]

I wouldn't call it cheating, I'd call it a huge problem. I think people can get addicted to porn just like anything else.. but regardless of whether or not he has an addiction, it sounds like you are being neglected.. have you talked to him about it? If so, is he willing to work on it or not? He might need professional help.

[1finger]

oh yes lots. We went to pre-marital concelling because of this addiction. I knew that once we were there and started looking into the addictions to porn. Many do say that it is cheating, and that most men who have porn addictions have deep rooted problems with women. Not all men do who have the addiction have issues with women but most do. Atleast from almost all of the papers and atrical and Dr. Phil types I have read or seen about concerning porn addiction.

[lanty3]

i`d call it cheating. it`s marital infidelity. i`m not sure ,but in your case this situation could be legally construed as a type of abandonment.

pornography can definitely be addictive and your husband is addicted.

i can`t see why a man ,who has a real flesh and blood women who wants to be with him, would prefer internet fantasy and masturbation. it`s regressive; arrested development perhaps.

you don`t sound like you`re overreacting. he needs help or you need to leave. it sounds harsh but that`s how i see it.

[lanty3]

if you want to get technical,definitive,"letter of the law" etc.,then maybe it`s not cheating ,but for all intents and purposes i think that`s pretty much what it is.

[yeawutever]

Nope, porn is not cheating. It would only be consider an addiction that can be cure if one partner does it so frequently that it also interferes with everything even work, but it still would not be cheating.

[lanty3]

i think you have to look at individual cases. it seems this person has abandonded his wife for electronic erotica,dirty pictures and his own hand.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, your husband is focussing his sexual desire on other women, basically.

 

By looking at other women naked and getting off on it, he's saying "our sex life clearly isn't enough for me, I must look at strangers and do it mentally with them".

 

Porn isn't "natural" or something people "need" - we lasted millions of years without it. (Or however long the human race has been in existence, minus a couple of hundred).

 

It's a question of how you feel about that, I suppose.

[hardcharger]

Porn is not cheating. Fantasizing is not cheating. Most of us men have a very high sex drives and even a accomadating wife can't satisfy us. And to make matters worse, as my friend and I agreed on last night, sometimes when we get great sex from wife, it makes us want to knock a few off in remembrance. Porn helps with that. But you have a much bigger problem than that and it is very sad.

 

How is your marriage otherwise, is he unhappy with you as a wife. This may be entirely his fault, his addiction and his own twisted mind. But you first have to look at yourself and where you might be somewhat at fault. If you have gained alot of weight or are otherwise not a satisfying sexual partner, it is possible that you man really isn't interested in having sex with you particular. I would consider that. Some women just don't have a clue on how to make a sex session that rocks a man and leaves him spent and satisfied. The flopping fish treatment just isn't enough as a steady diet. So think about that and maybe there are ways you can improve your sexual prowess, read a few books.(amazon has lots).

 

Saying that, this guy has a problem! Good luck.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I won't ever bothered getting married then, if even an "accomodating wife" can't satisfy the raging testosterone machines that are men!

 

ROFL

[Mayfairuk]

When a person selfishly gratifies themselves in front of their partner, is nothing more then that Selfish.

 

What has likely to have happened here is the fantasy going on in their head whilst looking at porn has far outweighed what they can get with you.

 

I would suggest strongly that you get out of the relationship...You probably couldnt compete with whats going on in thier head.

 

Thank god, they have not tried to play out of thier fantacies on you, they are usually either humanly impossible or physically painful and de-basing.

 

Look for someone who can make love...not perform just sexual acts. You would be nothing more then a vessel to tranfer juices...Im sorry if this offends.

[Rabican]

if porn starts taking place of you in in your sex life, then you have a HUGE problem. Lay down the rules, something has to change... thats not a healthy relationship at all. Either your SO needs to get help, or you need to kick em to the curb... up to you. But you cant have that continue.

 

I wouldnt consider it cheating, but it is f****ed up.

[1finger]

Ok, I should have put this in the beginning wth everything else. I did not think that so many people would respond to me. Thank by the way.

 

I am the demanding one when it comes ro sex. I am the one who is making the moves to get sex and also the one who gets pushed away. Now he has NEVER masterbated in front of me with porn or other wise. He has always tried to hide his porn problem from me. It has been more than just the internet, it was movies, magizines and yet the internet too. He used to have nude pictures of one of his ex's too.

 

We hvaen't seem to have any problems with porn coming back into our life for the last year. Now I don't know if it has come back into our life or not for sure. I have yet to find any physical proof. But the signs are there from him and the way he acts.