Girlfriend having weak orgasms

[nordiclongshank]

My girlfriend have gotten decidedly more sexual in the past few months. We've talked about having sex, but haven't and don't intend to for a little bit, but in the mean time we'd like to engage in some mutual masturbation, oral sex, that kind of fooling around to get comfortable with each other.

 

For a month I've been away (going to university out of the country, came back for the summer), so we've been talking on the phone and online using IMs, and masturbating while talking to each other, not really cyber-sex, but more like suggestions, and things we'd like to do. Before I left, we'd done some basic stuff, and while she didn't actually orgasm, she said she was too uptight to let go and do it.

 

We both find it great. Originally I wanted to do it too often, but that's settled down, and I take her cues most of the time as to when it occurs.

 

The problem, though, is that she only very rarely has a good orgasm, and feels that she has and can have much better with them, to the point where she's frustrated about masturbating because while it feels good, the end result isn't really worth it. She's mentioned a few times she's had good ones, but she thinks it was just being particularly horny and lucky, and I'm not quite so sure. She's tight as we're both virgins, and she says she feels discomfort when she tries to finger herself, and as such normally fingers herself very shallowly (about an inch in at max), or rubs her clit. Her nipples are right out, she says they're too sensitive.

 

I've tried to suggest toughening up her nipples, and loosening herself up a bit, but she says it hurts too much, or that it's not working well enough. Does anyone have any suggestions for her, now, how to have better orgasms by herself, or for me, to help her either online or in person? I think it might be a mental thing, but how does one goad a better orgasm out? Being a guy it just comes naturally to me, and while I try to help, it's not very good advice, it's just a mystery wrapped in an enigma that I try my best to unravel.

 

I love her dearly and hate to see her not get satisfied sexually.

[doyathink]

practice and patients.... The longer you are with each other the more you learn what feels good for the other!

[CarnelianButterfly]

Have her try not fingering her vagina at all and put all of her focus on her clitoris. The clitoris is more sensitive and is more likely to lead to better orgasms. Also suggest she uses a lube on her clit, the lube will help reduce the friction, the clit is very sensitive and too much friction can reduce the pleasure.

[nordiclongshank]

I don't know if friction is the problem, she gets quite lubricated on her own. She says what she does is she doesn't touch her clit at all, and focuses on the general area, and then when she's horny and wet enough, she focuses on her clit mainly. I will suggest that she ignore everything else entirely, maybe she's getting distracted.

[nordiclongshank]

I've also read something about a place that's connected to both the g-spot and the clit? Anyone know what I'm talking about, or how she can stimulate it?

 

I'm also curious about other things that she can do to help herself get off properly while rubbing herself... But her nipples are extremely sensitive (even sucking on them sometime hurts her) and, like I said, she can't finger herself. Is just rubbing the breast worth anything? What about some gentle anal masturbation?

 

I'm beginning to think it might be a mental thing... any suggestions at all?

[n83]

Many women just have weaker orgasms, some women NEVER orgasm.. def tell her to try the things other posters suggested, but not to get stressed out about it!!

[nordiclongshank]

Oh no, definitely not going to get stressed out. But she has definitely had orgasms, and good ones before - she couldn't even stand up afterwards. But normally they're much weaker

[nordiclongshank]

Thanks, I'll try that... which brings me to another question, that I think I'll ask in another topic. Any other suggestions?