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what is a girl to do?

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So first off I am a very attention crazed girl. I love my attention. I am not saying I am attention hog but when I have the guy I want most of his attention. I just recently got out of a relationship. The guy was 4 years older than me. We fought non -stop. We were so happy together but then we would go like 3 or 4 days without seeing each other and only talking for like 5 minutes so we would fight. It started out when I was at school. I was 3 hours away and everything was perfect, then I moved back home. The whole time he was fearing that I would move back down here and suffocate him. So he had me afraid to move home. When I got down here I tried not to push him to see me. I tried the whole my time his time and our time thing.

He went to the bars and hung with him friends and I went and did my thing. Then eventually he changed and said he wanted to settle and drop everything to spend all of him time with me ... at this point I got psychotic and took him seriously. I wanted to spend all my time with him and tried to spend too much time with him and eventually pushed him away.

He use to tell me things like I borke up with so and so for what you are doing now. and he always used it as a threat. so I would back off. He told me who I could and couldn't hang out with and places I could go and stuff. He told me I couldn't go somewhere but he was there once a week for poker? that doesn't make any sense to me.

I feel like we broke up b/c I suffocated him by wanting too much time with him but he did say he was ready for it. He never changed his mind on that then he tried to talk me out of being happy with him. He always told me that no matter what he does I will never be happy with him.

We had a big blow out in the parking lot one night and it kind of ended then. We never broke up and it has been 3 weeks. We still talk but when we do it is like nothing changed ... we still talk the same and we still have fights about the same stuff. The only difference is he doesn't call me every night and he stopped saying he loved me.

Now he has got into a mood where he tells me not to say that I love him and want to be with him rather tell him what I really am thinking. I don't know what he wants. We promised that if we ever broke up that we would be friends and now we fight like we are still together ... do you think we will be friends or do you think that we should just move on and go on our own ways? I mean for someone so serious to want to get married and such ... is it worth trying to work things out?

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Sounds like you have some attachment issues. Did you not get attention as a kid by your family?


I dont know what this guy wants. What do you want? And yes, people do not want to be suffocated in a relationship where they feel like they're spending every minute of the day with their partner and their partner will throw a fit if they don't hear from them once a day. I think he wants some control over the situation.


Do you think you'll be happy with him?

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I let him do whatever he wanted to do ... there were many night he would drop me off to go off with his friends. I didn't want to suffocare him so I tried not to. I did whatever I could to make him happy and me ... I really think he is the one I am suppose to be with for the rest of my life but it is like neither of us are ready to grow up and have that relationship now. I want to be with him but I am not sure if I should chase after him or if that would cause more problems. I didn't really care if I talked to him every day but idk ... I just don't know if I should wait on him or if I should move on and if he comes back he comes back and we can work from there or what

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