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Tramatizing me for the third time

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I guess it's my fault for being in the same situation again. About a year ago the same time my boyfriend broke up with me to be young and single. Hung out with some girls and didn't work out. Came chasing after me a month after. At that time i was on this site reading every form hopping to keep myself busy and stay NC with him, but the more i waited the more he called. I eventually gave in, and took him back. I thought to myself i forgive him a second time maybe than he will realize how much he means to me and that is okay to make a mistake and learn from it. Its not every day someone can forgive you for the things you put them through. For a while we were doing fine, he chased me around because since we separated other guys had their eyes on me. I guess he was more competing than realizing.


A year later we went through a lot. I recently had a miscarriage of his child that he didnt want. He was caring to me for a while, but my mood was awful. He brought me food and i complained about the wrong dish i ordered. I yelled at him for hanging out with his friends. I should of been satisfied. Ever since the last break up i told i been talkin to my ex, keeping contact and advice. Everytime we would fight i would try to make him jealous. I know i was wrong and went the wrong way. I cried i begged i said i was sorry but he wouldnt listen to me. We lived together and he made me leave.


He said he needs his space and i respect that, but when i go on his myspace, he is saving all these girls as friend. And i caught him buying this girl from his class coffee. I am going crazy. Why is he doing this to me. IF he doesnt want to be with me just tell me. Does he feel bad, or what why keep my hopes up. Or maybe its me who is keeping this up. If he wants to be with other girls go for it, why did he have to come back to me before. Why does he need to make me go through this again. I dont understand, isnt good people suppose to have good ending?

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If you take someone back who makes abuse of your forgiveness. Your only giving that person the green light to do it again' oh i can cheat on her because she'll take me back anyway'.


You have the oppertunity now to step out of the relationship, and start something with a nice guy who does respect you for who you are and treats you in a decent manner and performs loyalty towards the relationship.

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Please have confidence in yourself that you can rebuild your own life again. He's kicked you to the ground and by looking on his myspace you're just punishing yourself aswell. Basically just lying on the ground and having no way of getting up. Think about this, all the things he did to you last year, he got to do what he wanted to do, off enjoying himself and flirting with girls while you lay hurting. Now, when its you that wants him back, he's yet again out there enjoying himself while you're hurting. Does he have any emotions atall? It doesnt sound it. You're the one who's always in pain and he's enjoying every minute of it. Feeling like he's on a pedistool. Please, delete his number, force yourself to stop going on myspace. You should keep a little diary of each day that you successfully pass a day without checking it. It only hurts you. What you dont read cant hurt you. Keep yourself busy. Each time you're hurting, go to the gym, go swimming. Anything that stops you from having access to your phone and give yourself some alone time. You deserve it girl. Life is too short. x

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