Where do I go from here?

[jabele]

I've always felt somehow different from all the other girls I've known. I've liked boys (or older men, rather) growing up, but I've always had a sexual attraction to women (like in movies and stuff). I tried to write it off as nothing for a very long time. I even had a couple of crushes in HS on women and tried to write those off as well.

 

Dated lots and lots (did I say lots?) of men and I never want to have sex with them. I'm starting to realize that there's something going on with me and that I'm probably not straight. Not quite sure what I am exactly, but I feel I'll never figure it out until I do something about it. That brings me to my question. What do I do? I want to meet gay women and see if I feel something so do I try to date some?

 

I've used myspace to try to contact some and started up a conversation with one. Do you think it's a good idea to maybe go on a date with a gay woman? I feel like it will either feel 100% right or 100% wrong. I'd love your thoughts and suggestions. Thanks everyone

[Tigris]

Have you tried contacting your local LGBT group?

 

I discovered one in a university not far from me and although I never actually got around to attending their discos, coffee mornings, etc., they helped me by email to discover what my sexuality was. Anyone can go to these events, you don't have to be a university student and you can even attend the events if you're straight.

[jabele]

Yeah, I might look into that...but do you think it would be a good or bad idea to actually go on a date with someone of the same gender...even if I'm not 100% sure?

[Cadence308]

I think it would be a good idea to go on a date with one. However, many gay women will be turned off if you act irresolute about being with a woman. They don't want to get all attached to a woman just to have her say that she really prefers men or someone who goes back and forth. My gf has been with women who cheated on her with men. One woman she dated a few times was just experimenting and my gf said as soon as she found this out she pulled the friend card on her and that was that...she did not want to get involved. A lot of lesbians do not like to even date bi-sexual women because of this.

 

The crappy thing about meeting someone off of the internet is that they might not be who they say they are or even tell you that you are not what/who you say you are. My gf got mad at me after we had been talking for one week because she said that I lied to her about how long ago I had dated men (2 years ago). I told her that after one week of knowing someone, you can't expect to know all of the intimate details about each other's lives.

 

I think since you are experimenting with your sexuality joining a LGBT at school is a good place to start.

[Deviant_Kate]

Going on a date doesn't mean signing a contract that promises you'll be gay from now on. What can it hurt? Take a few baby steps, test the waters, and see how you feel. And don't forget - being gay doesn't mean you're attracted to EVERY woman. If your first first date doesn't ignite any fires, that doesn't mean your second first date won't.

 

Ballys is right - no woman is going to like knowing she's your guinea pig, so maybe keep it to yourself that you're not sure of your sexuality - but be honest in other arenas - don't lead them on, don't pretend you know all their is to know about LGBT life, and don't worry about it if you don't catch all the LGBT references.

[James005]

Sounds like your wanting to experimen. There's nothing wrong with that and you will know for sure what you want, or perhaps what you don't want. One thing to do is like other members are saying is contact the LGBT group in your community they can help a great deal with information pamphlets safer sex and safety issues depending on where your cummunity as a while stands on the issue of LGBT issues.

Don't label your self just yet as lesbian simply becasue it may be too early, for know experiment and se whats right for you, infact you may actually be bisexual. Of course the topic of gay Vs Bisexual is a whole nother issue.

PFLAG has a great website it has questions and answers that can help you figure out some questions you may have. Check it out, it WILL help.

link removed

thats the main site.

HOpe all works out for you.

[Tigris]

You need to go out with both sexes if you want to discover who you are.

 

Don't label yourself, just enjoy each others company and see where the relationship leads.

 

Good luck and take care.