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Do you have an eating disorder or tendencies?


EmptySoul
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I was thinking that there is no eating disorder section on here...I was wondering how many people on here have an ED or tendencies. If you're going to reply please tell me what type of ED or tendencies you have.

 

 

Here's mine:

I have anoretic/bulimic tendencies.

 

-E.

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I'm very obsessed with control and counting. I'm not sure if that has a specific title.

 

I've also had a few bulimic episodes, not a binge and purge, but more normal eating with purging. It evolved into the controlling my food so that I did need to purge (which made me feel out of control).

 

I've been trying not to be so obsessive, but I still have an internal counter that is constantly going in my head. I used to write things out and track my work out calories, but now I'm not doing that, I'm just going exercise and feel good. Sometimes I'd push too hard during my work out and would get sick. I know there are healthy ways to lose weight, but I tend to use those ways and push too hard. I've lost 40lbs, but I still would like to get down another 25-30 so that I'm an average weight. I don't say healthy because at my current weight my doc says I perfectly healthy just stressed about school and pushing myself too much.

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I have none. I actually know this to be a scientific fact, because I have a very close friend who actually is a doctor in psychology. She specializes in eating disorders. When she was my roomate and she was still in college, she and a team of her colleagues needed me to fill a roll as one of many 'guiea pigs' in an extensive comparison study she did on peoples' eating habits. At the end of the testings and the study, it was concluded that my attitudes towards food were right in the healthiest range, and that I had no disorder.

 

I grew up going hungry a lot, I appreciate healthy food, and I don't equate eating food with good memories of holidays or family dinners, or any type of reward, and I got very in tuned with when my body is actually hungry.

 

I love good food. But it is merely fuel for my life.

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I have no eating disorders, at least what food or drink concerns.

 

Eaiting disorders can be a form of self harm indeed. I'll keep that more in mind.

 

anorexia, no bulemic tendencies because i feel guilty wasting food when people are starving somewhere in the world

OK, There was a movie once, the "Flight of phonix" IIRC, a twin engined plane went down in the desert, an engineer redesigned the plane and patched it up flying all out. The engineer got more water than the others because of the long hours he put in. In the end, he saved all.

 

Contrary, he could have given his water ration to the others and they all would have perished.

 

The morale of the tale, you can do more in the world as long as you fight on.

 

Love yourself, look after yourself.

 

You have much to give and receive!

 

Whenever you like you could start a journal in Journals forum. I like to look after you and there we can talk anything without going OT.

p.s. if you change "self injury" to "self harm" it could cover eating disorders and drug abuse

just a suggestion.

That's a good sugestion.

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I wouldn't classify myself as being anorexic or bulimic. However, I definitely have issues with food. I've entirely blacklisted what I consider to be junk food, fixated almost. Growing up in a family where obesity was prevalent I've vowed to never be that. The negative affects from having obesity in my genes are my obsession with health and exercise. I understand how this may not seem like a problem to some, but any compulsion, even something healthy like exercise, taken to its extreme feels just as damaging and frustrating.

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I was anorexic for a part of my teen years. It started when I was around 13 and would stop eating for a day in the week to punish for the other days. When I was 15 I developed a full-blown ED. I never had bulimic tendencies, and through therapy, consulting a dietist, support of family, school and friends, I managed to beat the anorexia around 18.

 

Ilse

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No problems lately

Years ago I had periods where I'd fast for a day or two to give me an illusion of control when life was crazy. I'd get dizzy and realize I hadn't eaten for a day or two. When I was a road cyclist I'd bonk on hills and almost faint.

 

I went about 10 years as a vegetarian and went back to fish and fowl for more protein.

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No problems lately

Years ago I had periods where I'd fast for a day or two to give me an illusion of control when life was crazy. I'd get dizzy and realize I hadn't eaten for a day or two. When I was a road cyclist I'd bonk on hills and almost faint.

 

I went about 10 years as a vegetarian and went back to fish and fowl for more protein.

 

Unfortunately, a lot of the men and women who suffer from anorexia are not after being thin; rather they are trying to find something that they feel they can control in their life: intake of food. It's not really about dieting, it's about a feeling of lack of control of one's circumstances.

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Unfortunately, a lot of the men and women who suffer from anorexia are not after being thin; rather they are trying to find something that they feel they can control in their life: intake of food. It's not really about dieting, it's about a feeling of lack of control of one's circumstances.

Interesting comments, there are two active threads here in SI where the desire to control is apparent. Interesting, amazing, sad.

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Haaaaapyyyy girl, allowed to eat for two++ now.

 

Actually just recently I started eating like a normal pregnant woman should. At first, I had to be very careful about how much I did eat and keep down because too much at once could have been very dangerous to both me and my son. From being bulemic for 3 years to eating like crazy just wasn't possible. When I first got pregnant up until about 10 weeks, I still had my bulemic tendencies and for awhile, my sister would force me to eat little bits of food and KEEP it down. Still to this day if I eat too much my first instinct is to run for the toilet but I've learned to stop myself for my son's life.

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No I really was a stick.

175 at 6/5

 

Oh I believe you, that sounds quite light for your height. By Dysmorphia, I mean it is where you don't see yourself as you really are.

 

Changing topics a bit...I've been too light before but in my case it was actually due to my being to stressed and sad to eat, though I tried to maintain my weight. (bad breakup....whatever I'm over it now...)

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I don't have a disorder, but I am keenly aware of tendencies I have.

When I look in the mirror, I know that more often than not I am seeing something that isn't correct.

No matter what I do, I always feel like I am lacking muscle tone. I have got compulsive about it at times - exercising til I puked.

It's a warped view of seeing myself with more fat than I actually have, and with less muscle.

Can get a little silly with my food: balancing protein/carb/vitamin mineral ratios, water intake, blah blah blah.

 

I've learned now to ask certain people for feedback. They're good at giving rather blunt honest answers.

 

No joking - a little soft belly on a woman is much revered. Learning to love that little bit.

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I have a friend who keeps going on about she needs to diet and lose wieght. I was honest with her and told her you really don't need to lose wieght, in fact you're a little thin. The only thing you might want to do is maybe lift some weights and tone up a bit, since she was just looking a bit out of shape (though not bad). I hate to see someone knocking themself out to not eat when all she really needed was maybe a little time at the gym.

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The official diagnosis when I checked into the treatment program in the 80's was EDNOS (eating disorder not otherwise specified). It wasn't a very good treatment program. It was really geared for anorexic teenagers, and I was fat and in my mid 20's. They didn't really have much for me there, but they were happy to take my money and the money my insurance company paid them. I had much more success with Geneen Roth's Breaking Free From Compulsive Eating program (now called Breaking Free From Emotional Eating) and a sort of general, all-purpose shrink who had some background in ED.

 

Now what I had/have would be called COE (compulsive over eating).

 

I had a very long period of recovery and relative sanity, then I sorta fell off the wagon in the past year or two. Lots of reasons. Mostly work-related due to my last job (aka "the job from hell at dysfunction junction"), although there's some really old, old stuff coming up, too. Started seeing a registered dietician who works with ED folks. She uses a non-diet approach and bases her treatment plan on Geneen Roth's program and other similar programs. I've been seeing her for about 6 months now. It's going well.

 

Basically, it's re-learning what physical hunger feels like, learning what different levels of fullness feel like, and the difference between "full" and "satisfied." Putting it together it's eat only when you're physically hungry, then eat only what you are hungry for, and stop when you're satisfied. "Satisfied" is very subtle and sometimes hard to recognize as it generally happens a good bit sooner than "full." No right/wrong foods, no good/bad foods, no limits, no obsessive calorie counting, no carb counting, no shakes, pills, powders or BS.

 

And it can be very, very difficult.

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Hmm, I would not consider eating disorders self injury in most cases...while some do it to 'punish themselves' it's something more related to depression and the need to exert some form of control, but it is also related to body image issues, which is why I always think it fit more into Healthy, Body and so on. I don't think you can say it's ALL about controlling one's life because there are many out of control whom would not revert to ED's, and it's not ALL about body image as there are many with low self esteem/body image whom also don't become ED (though they may develop unhealthy relationships with food/body).

 

I have a pretty bad anorexic past, which I have discussed on here before with some posters when relevant. It started after a major traumatic event in my life, and persisted for a couple years, until I saw what devastation I was causing my family, and realized how deadly it was after another anorexic I knew had some strokes and a failing heart. And I also knew I was not far from that..I was in the anorexia nervosa stage with no periods, developing hair, extremely fragile and deathly looking. It was not of course as simple as just "eating" again...it was a long road to recovery emotionally and physically.

 

For a while I was just extremely strict with what I ate. That I became OVERLY compulsive with exercise (I always was athletic, but it got ridiculous for a long while!). Both of those I have moved past and through, and nothing is "off limits" as long as I eat balanced and a healthy diet overall.

 

As for exercise, well, yes, I am a exercise/outdoor activity junkie but that is because I have a true passion for those things I do and pursue them to get better, not because I "have to burn calories/get 6-pack/lose that tiny layer of fat" mentality I used to have. It also truly balances me, and takes away stress - rather than adding to it as it used too.

 

Eating disorders never really leave you, you can definitely get a hold of them, and learn to avoid triggers, and learn positive self esteem/confidence, but because they are also linked to depression, and because the brain of someone with an eating disorder is also "wired" differently it is something that can always be there. Like with depression, anorexic's often have problems with their serotonin levels, and the actual act of starving can cause endorphins and serotonin levels to boost.

 

So, I am definitely what I would call a "recovering anorexic". And while it took a long time, I am definitely on a positive road, and have been for a while While I watch what I eat, and choose healthy, and also exercise (kind of an obsession for me maybe, but not to an unhealthy level as I used too) I also am not strict as to "bad food vs good food" or obsessed with what each food contains in terms of calories, fat, and so on. I eat balanced, exercise regularly and really am comfortable in my own skin.

 

When life gets stressful, I can find myself "triggering" but have learned ways to cope with that without falling into extrememly unhealthy eating habits or obsessive exercise habits again (many anorexics also have compulsive & extrememly strict exercise routines).

 

However, that being said, I do also have a couple EDNOS that I prefer to not discuss here...that is a term that relates to Eating Disorders Not Otherwise Specified, and covers a gamut that is outside the anorexia nervosa/bulimia illnesses most people know of. It is something I struggle with, and in many ways also am not honest about with others in my life...in a lot of ways I am quite ashamed of it, and that I am not as healthy as I present myself to be. I feel hypocritical about it to be honest. It's something I am trying to deal with, and is a residual of my anorexic history I think.

 

However, overall, I know that food is my fuel, I need it to be alert, to perform my athletic activities I love, to be healthy and strong for my loved ones. It's not my enemy anymore.

 

And...the biggest thing of all...I am HAPPY with my body, and who I am. That is something I NEVER thought I could say. Even with my "flaws" I find something great, I feel womanly, and embrace my curves, but also know I am strong and athletic and my body can be just amazing...I would not trade that strength and ability for being super thin ever - not now. The strange thing is...once I reached that acceptance, I also became the fittest/healthiest I have ever been. Maybe in some way, my own negative thinking was holding my body back before...

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