Confused relationship

[chris_nos_2007]

So me and my ex had been broken up for 2 months. We were togetehr for 1 and a half years before that. She came back however and we have been togetehr for like 3 days now. When she did her mom said she hoped she didnt just jump back into anything because she wants her whole dating lifestye to be out of her system before she comes abck to me. She had told me that she was 100% sure wed be togetehr forever but didnt want to be ina relatiionship right now. She said she wanted to get abck tho and then yesterday she had a moment where she felt like she did jump back into this and was like well why do we have to be back togetehr already why cant we just date for a month first. She still said she saw us togetehr forever but I have no idea where these doubts come from. She had said that she just cant stand having to say i love you everytime u get off the fone and having to kiss goodnite everytime and all these things she thinks is expected out of a relationship this is when she was venting i think. After all that though her mom was with us talking and she said that if she is afraid of losing me and loves me to stay with me. I dont think she would have come abck yet if she wasnt afraid of losing me thats the reason she jumped back so fast i think. Then after that she was fine the rest of the nite and really cuddly and all that. I think she is wanting to take this really slow now though she just went hoem today after work and i called and asked if she wanted to hang out and she said not right now she was gonna go take a nap maybe later. It would kill me if she decided to just end it again. I know how to be single and I know how to be ina relationship but this feels like a grey area in between having her and not....like she isnt as devoted to me as she should be right now. What do u all think? Im sory this is prolly confusing.

[Relationship Coach]

Chris, it seems this is more confusing to you than us! Being in a committed relationship isn't something that you can shelve for future use. She needs to either commit or let you move on. Hanging around in a relationship that isn't happening is a miserable thing to do. Telling someone "I love you" and kissing someone goodnight are part of the splendors of being in a relationship. Don't put your life on hold waiting for her to come around and see how life and love really are. She's keeping you in check while keeping her options open because you let her!

 

RC

[heloladies21]

Yeah see I was worried about this stuff happening. Basically all I can tell you is you're going to have to stick up for yourself and what you want and not accept anything less. You want a relationship and she's not 100% into it, so it seems kind of pointless to keep it hanging on by a string in the hopes that it will develop something. It won't work out.

 

Say "Listen, this is what I want..." and "this is what I don't want..." then listen to her answer. A no is a no, a yes is a yes, but anything in between is also a no and once everything's been said and done, there's no point to keeping in touch. You only want her back if she's 100% into the relationship, nothing less.