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Why is fate so cruel? (be warned a somewhat long post sorry)


valenski
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I think life really enjoys kicking my butt, I feel like the idiot chasing the dream he will never have. When everything seems to be going my way and I lean back to appreciate one second of it, that's when the cosmos goes "psyche!" and laughs in my face. So many times I've asked myself why? Why do I deserve to be the butt of a universal joke?

 

Its happened so many times, the disappointment, the embarrassment, the self pity, my melancholy has turned to angry and my angry to rage, my cup is full and flowing over. It's a real impartial life but whom can I blame myself? No, I work my keister off just to have it blow up in my face? No, I'm fed up. Here is the straw that broke my back.

 

About two years ago I met the most wonderful girl, kind, smart and had the face of an angel, I knew my search was over then and there because I'd found the one. My conquest, however, would not be an easy one. When I finally mustard up the courage to converse with her, she let me know right away, she wasn't interested in anything beyond friendship, I said that was cool, inside I was crushed but not defeated.

 

I toiled for months getting to know her, letting her know me, getting closer and closer to her. Then one day, she confirmed with a deep embracing hug, that I wasn't the only one in love. That night was one of my best ever I was walking on clouds. Things only got better after that we got more and more intimate, things could not be better until…

 

She's going to college, the day she told me I sang and danced with her while my heart was sinking like the titanic. She leaves in a couple of days, a part of me is happy for her but not my heart, it howls a sad melody. I miss her and she's hasn't even left yet, I don't even know if I have the strength to see her off on that faithful day.

 

Yeah, I know that long distant relationships can be successful but it just wont be the same. No more calling me by my middle name even though she knows I don't like it, no more delightful afternoon lunches together, no more listening to each other breath over the phone, no more watch her try to hold back her laugh until she just burst into giggles, I you tell gloomy days await me. Why me cruel fate? Why me?

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Long distance relationships are very tough. I've been in one for the last year of my 5 year relationship. Be very careful to what you say to her while apart. I cant explain, but youll get to understand on your own in time. Just know if you are both truly commited, it can last just like any other relationship, maybe even better.

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