Boyfriends been cheating on me

[coollady1957]

I know he wants to be with me because we have spoken about things, and he said he wants to be with me. He loves me etc.

 

Wasn't he leading you to believe that he wanted to be with you and saying that he loved you all this time you were together and he was cheating on you ?

 

So why do you believe him just because the words are coming out of his mouth? He can and will say ANYTHING to keep you, these people are smooth talkers. The majority of time, it is just words, and they mean nothing.

 

What has he actually done to help you believe this , other than to just speak the words that you want to hear?

 

I don't think anyone here is claiming, or trying to come accross as an expert or know-it-all. We can only draw our conclusions , thoughts and advice from what info you give us and from our own personal life experiences, from which we gain wisdom and learn many lessons on relationships.

 

Any man or woman , whom can lie and cheat on someone for 8 months , is a chronic liar, cheater, and deceiver. It is not very likely that he will change his ways.

 

Right off the top of my head, I can think of 5 couples that I have known the last few years, either husband/wife or BF/GF where one of them cheated or had affairs,,,,,,,,,,, and of those five couples NOT even one of the cheaters kept their promise to change and never cheat again. NOT even ONE !! Well you can actually make that 6 , including my last relationship where the guy made promises over and over again, but he still kept doing his cheating anyway.

 

Maybe take some time and re-read over your entire thread and think about the replies you have received. As we all know its your decision in the end if you decide to give this guy another chance. I still say Run as far away from him as you can and stay there.

[RayKay]

Exactly what coollady said.

 

How can you trust the words of someone whom for 8 MONTHS was saying those words and still cheating on you?

 

An 8 month affair takes WORK and planning, he purposely had an AFFAIR on you while leading you to believe that he was committed to you!

[Hope75]

You see, I am not a big believer in words unless they are followed by actions. I always pay attention to a person's actions, because that carries some real weight and actually shows where that person's real intentions lie.

 

This guy's actions (i.e., cheating on you for the entire relationship, lying to you and totally deceiving you) show me that he does not love you, simply for the fact that if he did, he would NEVER have had SECOND relationship at the same time as you for 8 months! This is NOT a mistake... it was a LONG TERM, conscious choice.

 

As the others said, how much work did it take to hide his other girlfriend from you? For your ENTIRE relationship? Do those ACTIONS show you a man who loves and respects you? Don't fool yourself, they don't.

 

Words are VERY easy to say. His ACTIONS tell a whole different story, one I believe because he proved it.

 

Honey, you deserve so much more than this.

[yeawutever]

Yea, anybody can say "I'm sorry". Now the actions is what really counbts, he's proven tto be a liar and deceiver. Like the previous posters say, is that what you're looking for in a man, one that you can't trust anymore and have to constantly worry about cathcing an STD??

[Rabican]

A drunken fling might be forgivable.

 

A brief affair with another person might be as well.

 

Maybe an emotional fling.

 

Maybe dishonesty.

 

But JEEEEEEEEEEEEEZUS! you dated him for months and months and all the while he had a girlfriend? You may love him, but he does not love you.

[carlym81uk]

thanks but i live in scotland

 

[1finger]

personal for me I am not sure that I could move past and not hold the cheating against him in the future. Many couples when fighting use the one up's. Starting to bring up past accurances and or past fights and hurtful things to get at one another. Nothing healthy about that.

 

Cheating is a big and hurtful thing. If he really cared about you he wouldn't have acted the way he did to eiter one of you (women). I think you will find yourself always questioning yourself and or his actions all the time if you 2 stay together. Besides you can forgive, but forgetting is something else, you should take things as they are. He cheated and hurt not only you but the other woman too. time to move on with out him. Love can make you blind, but it never makes you stupid. Mkae the best choice for you and what you want for YOUR future.

[Hope75]

thanks but i live in scotland

 

 

How is this relevant to what you are going through?

 

I'm confused....

[carlym81uk]

Because I had some message asking me to go on a show in New York,.

 

Its been removed now.

[Meemzie74]

Hello all, i'm new to this. My current situtation is my husband of 14 yrs cheated on me with an 18 yrd old girl. He told me about it when he found out she was preg. He an i have 7 children of out own. We are still together. An "trying" to work things out. its been almost 2 yrs now (the baby is 9 1/2 months old now) Last night he was visiting with his son. an I went over to where they were an caught her playin with his hair...well i flipped out lost control of myself.. an now i dont know what to do

He says it was nothin she was just playin with my hair it was nothin....an he dont see anything wrong with what was done.

I need advice....The hardest thing is I LOVE THIS MAN sooo much.

 

Help Help Help

 

[yeawutever]

You must be really stuck in a tough position, b/c it's not only the affair, but a child out of it. Honestly I would suggest contacting your lawyer and start filing for divorce, that's a legitimate reason and no more how hard you still want to work things out, there will always be the other child who needs to have a mother and father taking care of him/her.

However, if you still wanna work it out, go immediately to marriage counseling and have your husband, even yourself contacting the other woman in regards to the child.