OUCH!! I think she DOES have an interest in the other guy...

[scatcatfhsu]

And that's what really kind of bothers me... I mean, I really TRY and TALK to her and "place myself" around her, but it's almost as if it's not registering or she just isn't interested. And I'm the type of person that prefers being called by my name (and I'm not even sure she can recall my name... even though I've talked to her several times). The other guy? Very quiet and shy... but I think he sort of has an advantage with looks (according to a few girls conversations that have been overheard). It probably also isn't hurting him that he keeps upping credentials (more and more education).

 

But here's the deal... he just seems so unpredictable (you'll never know if he'll speak or just be quiet) and it would appear that she is TRYING to RECOGNIZE him. For instance, one other person said (yesterday), "Now here's a guy that always stays busy and I guarantee probably none of you have seen him as he just sort of stays to himself..." and she's in the background looking directly at him and SMILING so wide every tooth in her mouth is showing and EYEBALLING him eye contact to eye contact. Plus, he'll sometimes just be looking off or somethign whenever she comes around and she'll almost always call him by his name and ask him something such as "How are you doing" "What's up?" or something along those lines... The only thing I have heard about her is that she doesn't want anything serious right now... but could it be that she sees him as a primary option?

 

On the flip side, I'll even say that he can be VERY INTERESTING if you can just get him to open up. He can go from subjects as varied to the environment, the business world, sports, different cultures, video games, or weather in a split second. And that's one thing I hear all of the women around him say... If he doesn't show up somewhere, and he often doesn't, "they are like, where is he? he's really interesting."

 

Is her interest in HIM?? Should I just start a new search?

[Relationship Coach]

I would say she is intrigued by him and at the moment but until they actually become an item don't throw in the towel! Why are you selling yourself short, take note of what he is doing. If your bait isn't working, look at what is on someone else's line that is working. What makes her so special?

 

RC

[heloladies21]

Well dude, you should only care about this other guy so much as to learn from him how he does what he does, but as far as being competition why would you care? Completely ignore the fact that she's into him and do your thing. It sounds like there is too much subtlties and hidden interpretations. Get to the point, make a move for her, and if she's not feelin it, move on. In the meantime, start talking to some other girls. And go her for some more info on this kind of stuff.

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[FutureNASCARStar]

I think I can give an example of what might be going on here. It could possibly be that she just isn't as outgoing as you are and might really like the quieter guy. While all of those signs are somewhat subtle, I think I can honestly say that a wide smile from a girl while looking directly at a guy might mean something. It might not necessarily mean they'll be married a year or two from now but it probably means something exists in her for him. And, if he's as quiet as you claim, it probably also shouldn't be taken for granted that she makes such an effort to speak to him.

 

This sounds kind of similar to a situation I saw at work with a girl that alot of us guys were interested in. She was friendly enough to speak to all of us, but only addressed him with the wide smile and in all honesty, he was a great guy even though he didn't ever have alot to say. I think a good deal of it was shy, but he'd turn his head and not even make an effort to have eye contact with a lot of people... and, she'd come down the stairs or cross his path and he'd usually turn his head only to have her speak directly to him... "Hey John... how are you doing today?" It is my opinion that when a girl makes that kind of effort to speak to you and address you with such a smile that she is opening up the keys to her soul in a way.

 

I'm not really certain, because you didn't really say, but I think you may be talking about younger people (especially with reading your other posts). If this girl is 22 - 24 or maybe a new graduate from college or something along those lines, it is also important to remember that, in my opinion, girls usually mature a little faster than guys. If you are still on the "fast track" (and trust me, if you are, just keep enjoying yourself), it could just be that she sees a guy that is already kind of toned down and had both feet firmly hit the ground -- and, in her mind, might view him as potential to "settle down". If this is the case (recent graduate or mid 20's), it could be just that.

 

I had the unique opportunity of doing a clinical with a marriage counselor (I was a Psychology major) and would say that (as weird as it may sound to some of you), this girl might simply be kind of quiet and to herself (a lot like him) and would enjoy the opportunity to date him (or more) because guys like this (and girls like this) seem to share a more unique and sincere friendship because they value the friendship of each other more. Unfortunately, it's almost as if they cut off the outside world -- but they ultimately remain more happy together. And, it could be that she sees the unique opportunity to do just this but also bring him out of his shell a little more. And, if he is as interesting as the initial e-mail claims (and at least a little attractive), she would see this as a reward. Just my two cents.

 

Brim

[scatcatfhsu]

But do you think she has an interest in him?

[heloladies21]

It doesn't matter. Proceed as if she doesn't. It would be her job to let you know.