Am I the only one that doesnt have the guy that I dated calling me after it ended?

[esboogie143]

Im just very curious, are there people in this forum that are or have been in my situation. I ended a "dating relationship" w/ a guy amd it was b/c I was never going to get a committment out of him and to be honest I knew this from the start but since I "accepted" the situation it went on for 7 months too long. I gave him my all and he always told me that im a wonderful woman and that im such a sweetheart- blah blah blah, we really had good times but I just couldnt handle it anymore. He just wasnt the one for me I cried when I ended it nearly a month ago and I called him a few times and he answered 2x now he doesnt even call me or anything....what a waste of time...my gut instinct wasa right all along- my thing is y is he not trying to see me or talk to me??? He was just not the one right?

[rose2summer]

Guys have HUGE egos, especially those of certain ethnic backgrounds. Some men, and not all (emphasized here), can really take it personally if the women ends the relationship, so they won't call to protect their ego. On the other hand, if the male ended it, he usually, not always will call, just to keep tabs on the woman, so that he can keep her as his so called "back-up plan." Feel fortunate he is not calling because he doesn't seem like the right man for you anyways.

[tylercdurden2004]

So you dumped and he didnt care. What did you expect? He maintained that all along.

[Beyondthesea]

He maintained that all along.

 

Sadly I agree. He showed he didn't care the whole time, now it's just being verified.

 

Definitely not the one.

[DN]

rose2summer Guys have HUGE egos, especially those of certain ethnic backgrounds

 

In my experience huge egos are not confined to males nor to those of 'certain ethnic backgrounds'. And if you browse the forums for a while you will discover how ill-informed and sexist statements like that can be. This particular statement would also appear to be racist.

 

To esboogie143: If you break up with someone, for whatever reason, it is unrealistic to expect them to call and beg you to take them back. The vast majority of advice to dumpees on this forum is to go no contact unless the dumper specifically says "I made a mistake and I want you back".

 

Never dump anyone as a tactic to improve the relationship or unless you really mean it. And once you have dumped someone - move on and let them do the same thing.

[esboogie143]

I didnt dump him to improve the relationship...I let him go b/c I had to for he was only taken me for granted and I was going to hurt myself even more if I would of stayed. He had everything with me , his cake and was eating it too it was just too much for me w/o a committment

[brando]

Well Eboogie,

 

It seems you are still experiecing the same problems with your relationships. It is time now perhaps to forget about relationships and spend some time with yourself. Sometimes things happen to us repeatedly is because there is a lesson we are needing to learn. And the more we involve ourselves with another and focus on that, the less we focus on oursleves and have unhealthy relationships.

 

He may never contact you or persue you again, and from the sound of it that is a good thing. I wouldn't worry about losing this guy. He didn't sound as if he was into you or your needs, so why settle??

 

You will continue to do what you think is best for you, but remember one thing, what you resist i life will persist. SO if there is something you need to be doing for yourself, then my advice would be to start doing it. Forget about dating for a short time, focus on you.

 

be well,

brando