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can someone help me figure this out


survival21
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A little over a week ago me (21 yrs old) and my girlfriend (21 years old) have decided to take a break from our 1 year relationship which we just made last tuesday which we had a fun time together. that wed after our 1 year anniversary I went over to her apartment and spent the night and she was acting really strange. the next morning before she went to work she told me acted normal by kissing me bye and tell me that she loved me. So when i got back home on thursday i called her later that night asking her what was wrong. At first she didnt want to talk about it but finally i broke her down and she talked to me. She said she is losing her spark for me. Everything i do is aggravating and she doesnt seem happy. She asked me if i miss being single and i said yea but i also told her that i will miss being with her much more than being single. She then explained to me that she doesnt know what to do. So I told her that we can slow down things and take it slower. She said no that is not gonna help, she said she has to be completely cleansed of me. She said to me that she thinks she is in love and she thinks she still loves me. She then stated that she does not want a break or break up because she knows how good she has it and if she leaves and comes back she is afraid i wont take her back but something had to be done. So i proposed on thursday that we will take a break for a week. i would not call her for a week, and i would prob call her on sunday of the following week and she said she would call me before then if she needed to talk to me. Well a week passed by yesterday and there was no contact for the entire week. So I called her on thursday and she did not answer her phone which i figured she was at work. About 20 min later she texted me saying "Im at work and i thought we were waiting until Sunday?" I texted her back saying "that I think we should talk sometime later tonight" she texted me back stating "no i want until sunday" so i text back saying "could i see you sunday after work so we can talk in person?" she said "I dunno".

Can someone help me explain what maybe the problem is. I love this girl more than anything and i figured that after a week she would be ready to talk. But now that she still wants to wait until sunday it makes me think that she is going to break it off. But if she wanted to break it off why is she waiting until sunday? Why hadnt she done it already? she is not someone who will procrastinate like that she will say what is on her mind. Im preparing myself to move on but cant because it seems like we arent offically over. Did she just prepare herself not to talk to me until sunday or is she still searching to see if i am the one? I wrote her a long song that states how i feel for her, how i can make her life happy, and how if it doesnt work out then it wasnt meant to be. Does anyone think that i should send her the letter saturday night before we talk on sunday? and should i be the one to call her on sunday?

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She is clearly confused about what she wants from you. I think I would just give her the space she requested and let her have some time to think. Maybe she is waiting to let you down softly. My ex did the exact same thing, kept stalling and stalling, and then broke it off. She is probably checking out other guys right now to see if she can find one better, and if she can't, well then she will return ot you. Do NOT send that letter, it will just make things worse. Let her call you, don't call her, that is of course if you even want to be with her despite the fact she may be searching for another soul. I would just go no contact and do not even talk to her on Sunday, but wait until she calls a few times, and then you can talk, so she knows what it is like to have you out of her life.

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Im really sorry for your situation survival. There are a lot possibilities as to why she may be feeling this way. Just listen to what she said though. It sounds like she is in the middle of making the decision as to whether it is worth letting you go right now or not. It was a big mistake calling her before sunday, you need to respect her space right now if you want her to have respect for you and see you as not clingy, desperate, and as someone who is a good partner. Now is the time for you to tell her that you dont want to play games. Dont let this become a big trial period or you will never have a chance. If you keep her around as a friend type or constantly talk about your feelings with her while you are not together, you have no chance. You need to tell her how you feel once, tell her what you want, tell her to make a decision, and if she says that she wants to break implement NO CONTACT. The things that are best to do are very hard right now, but they are the best things do to all the same. Also, be decisive next time you say wait till sunday, do it, try not to break. This must be very difficult for you. My heart goes out to you. Good luck

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its so hard though i lost so much of my own life over the past week! and i cant get over the fact that she could find another guy and end up sleeping with him. I lost my virignity to her and she lost hers to me and i always treasured that more than anything with us

 

Hey survival, sorry to hear about what is going on. Keep in mind that no matter what happens, you will survive and you have your whole life ahead of you.

 

That being said, I feel if she really missed you, it wouldn't have mattered when you called. I believe that she wants to end the relationship but wants to avoid feeling guilty about it.

 

Is there another guy around? Possibly.

 

Try to look beneath the surface at the way she is acting and the things she is saying.

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no im pretty sure there is no other another guy we also agreed that we would not hook up with anyone else while we were on our break

 

Keep in mind that we could all be wrong about her hooking up with another guy, but look at these signs she is showing you.

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no im pretty sure there is no other another guy we also agreed that we would not hook up with anyone else while we were on our break

This is a deal with the devil here. How can you be sure shes not going to "find" someone else? A break almost always means the end of the relationship and usually the one who suggests does so in order to explore what the have or havent already. Its a nice way to say " I am not too concerned about losing you."

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