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Hay, u prob get this all the time! and i have posted bout it before!! But i cant get my best mate out of my head!! its driven me crazy! I'm not gay, im kinda seeing this guy, who i really like, but jus cant get my best mate outa my head! Shes defiantly not gay, welll i dont thin! Shes away travellin at the mo and calls me everyday!! before she left we were inseperable, shes jus amazin, neva met n e1 like her and i miss her more than ne thing! going out to visit her in a couple of months cos i miss her that much!! Can ne one give me advice on what to do!!! she jus messes with my head so badly! and cnt stop thinken bout her!! she sent me a text sayin i was her soul mate whats that all bout and in a questionairre thing the other day it asked have u ever had a crush on me and she answered me yes i actully really have!! I dont know what do to i adore this girl!! Only known her less than a year and never clicked with some1 so much!! Ive told her everything bout me and vice versa! things i havent told ne 1! I've known mates since i was 7 and they dont know half the stuff ive told her! Please tell me that i jus idolise this gal and it aint nothin more!! its just so weird!!! shes excat like it back thou, its strange! people get the rong idea bout us all the time!! Im just so besotted with her really dont know what to do!! Pleasee help!!! Thanks!!

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My sister was going through something like this a while back (she told me in confidence). She drove herself crazy trying to figure it out, and she finally realised what it was.

 

She wanted someone she could be friends with as well as lovers. She had never really had this with any guys. She felt very close to this friend of hers, and wished she could have all that closeness with someone who romantically loved her.

 

I know this is probably confusing. It made sense when she told me though. And believe me, my sister is definitely not gay.

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I think this can go either way...I know you're looking to hear "you're not gay"- and you may not be...but you started off on the defense saying:

"I'm not gay" and "tell me I'm not gay.." meaning you're not even open to the possibility that you might be. I've been in that situation myself, and if you don't allow yourself to be open to the idea of it, then you will never really know for sure.

 

Is this the first girl you've ever had feelings for? Also, what is the situation with your current boyfriend? Do you have a strong emotional/sexual connection? It's hard to say whether or not your gay from the post you provided...

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I think this can go either way...I know you're looking to hear "you're not gay"- and you may not be...but you started off on the defense saying:

"I'm not gay" and "tell me I'm not gay.." meaning you're not even open to the possibility that you might be. I've been in that situation myself, and if you don't allow yourself to be open to the idea of it, then you will never really know for sure.

 

Is this the first girl you've ever had feelings for? Also, what is the situation with your current boyfriend? Do you have a strong emotional/sexual connection? It's hard to say whether or not your gay from the post you provided...

 

 

Hay there! thanks for gettin back to me! Shes not the first no, but its never been like this with anyone before!! Jus see a girl and think yeh nice, but with my best mate its so much different!! I'd do anything for her, die for her! and its never been like this, I guess im just scared, cos it does scare me!! She tells me things all the time which messes with my head, people get the rong idea all the time bout stuff she says to me! and its the same with her! The guy im seein atm no not at all, hes lovely, but cant really see it going anywhere! Just a bit of fun i think and if im being totally honest a bit of a cover up!! He is lovely thou, i'm more attracted to guys without a doubt, and its only really what i feel for my mate which is makin me have doubts, honestly cant get her outa my head!! Thanks for ur help, its driven me mad! x

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Just a bit of fun i think and if im being totally honest a bit of a cover up

 

You mean you're using him to cover up something with your sexuality? Also, you said you've had this before, but not as much as with your friend. Have you had other crushes on girls? If you're attracted to both men and women, then you're probably bisexual...at the same time, your feelings may change as you grow older so you might want to avoid putting a label on your feelings...because it might make you uncomfortable and it sounds like you have a lot of doubts. Thats just my opinion...hopefully others will chime in with theirs as well

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You mean you're using him to cover up something with your sexuality? Also, you said you've had this before, but not as much as with your friend. Have you had other crushes on girls? If you're attracted to both men and women, then you're probably bisexual...at the same time, your feelings may change as you grow older so you might want to avoid putting a label on your feelings...because it might make you uncomfortable and it sounds like you have a lot of doubts. Thats just my opinion...hopefully others will chime in with theirs as well

 

i dont know i do like him but i dont think bout him all the time, like i do with my mate! yeh ithink i am bi, but had crushes on girls since i can remember to be honest!! thanks for ur help means a lot thanks!! I wont say ne thing to my mate! shes greatest person i n my life and dont wanna loose her! ill get over it! x

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i tihnk u may not want to label yourself as a gay maybe.. hey its ok pal...be cool.. i think u really hav fallen for her.. n she too likes you bakc... try to flirt a bit more see the signs.. or maybe go to a disc.. the best palce get sum drinks.. not much dance alot then cooly as her if she wants to kiss you... i think she may say yes.. it will be much easier to start of the topic...i must say...best of luck

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hay, yeh i dunno she away travellin at the moment for a year! and she still aint gettin out of my head!! but not a day has gone by where we aint spoke even thou she accross the world! meetin her at xmas n going with her for 7 months!! We used to go our every sat night b4 she went just the two of us and get hammard and it was like we were a couple it was so weird! she used to do everything for me! make me breakfast in bed get me water when evai wanted! stupid things i know! i think i have fallen for her, just wanna buy her everything and just make her happy! i miss how it was b4 she went away! she tells me its all the time its guna b like that when i see her next even when i dont say it first!! she jus says stuff to me al the time! the other day in an email ina questionairre this she said she has had a crush on me! she tells me im her soulmate all the time! its werid! i wanna do what u say so bad mate bt i jus dnt wanna loose her! im jus guna try foget it really! i dont want to but i really dont wanna loose her!

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hey mjb...i think this girl is initiating the moves first .. n im sure she must be interested...she has given u hints already... either flirt a little more be very close toher n see.. or i know it may be driving u wild(it does to me!!!) then you ask her ...do u like me.. or do u want me? n look her in the eye n say... n u know waht... dont b in touch with her for a day or two n see what happens.. i think she will want you n will show signs of clinging... so thats when you should tell her... go for it dear!!! she is a human being... same like you not ananimal... so nothin is wrong i feel...

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Hello, i dont think she is at all, i really am jus guna leave it! when i told ehr was seein some1 she stopped sayin stuff n was quite short with me n that but since i told her i aint she bein all nice n sayin stuff again! gt a text message back today sent her one sayin i was bored and she said hay beauitful u know i wud entertain u if i cud, f*cking love you thou! ahh does me head it! really am leavin it thou!! hows things with u x

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hey!!! i know its driving u crazy.. as i said.. u may think ok forget for say 4 days.. but ultimately she will end up in your mind.. right??? thats what happens to me... i try to forget her... but one day she lands up in my thought n i sulk the whole day.... try a thing on her.. tell her there is this guy at work n all that. n u find him hot n etc.... see her reaction....im sure u will come to know wat she has for you....

well wid me... i had a chat on yahoo like 4 days back with her... but she had to complete fer project . all... so she said that she will talk with me again wehn we meet... now im thinking of not statrn the topic.. lets see if she does(just testing).. coz i had wrote in my previous forum.. that i had msged her regarding bisexuality.. n when i met her after a month... she started the topic when we were alone... so....

but mjb.. this all is pretty sad...i mean u know you love the person from your heart unlike anyone else who can... yet in our world... theses things are not looked upon with a kind heart...

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thanks for all ur advice chick!! Just spoke to her she goes so quite and that on me when i say im goin out on nights out!! and im usally out every fri n sat!! so she walsy goes kinda quiet on me those days since she been away!! just spoke to her tellin her im goin out tonite so she went all quiet n that and then i i said im not sure if going to or not when i said i aint and il stay in and that means next time i see u i can blow more money on her! she went all happy and that!! so weird every1 i ever get close to gets all jealous on me when i go out and that!! i dont know why!!

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im happy that you are going out mjb!!! u know how hurt n all u have been...jus coz of her....coz love really does hurt n she doesnt know that. if she is to scared to come out...then she mus be crazy... coz i konw its hurting you 100%.see... the facts are here... you going out makes her moody..this is a sure sign that SHE wants to spend time eith YOU.SHE wants YOU to like keep her n treat her .. its SHE who is so insecure bout you(as much as u are too.)

i wolud advise you not to show much things in her temp. like o god i need you.. act like you too can njoy life with others.... do this for lik e 3 days n see her reactino... normally gr8 friends do hav possesivness .. but not so much like what she is displaying....it jus shpws that she bcomes quiet n all due to her sadness coz of you.... i think she loves you but is god like so scared n all!!!you know what.... tell her you went to a pub or sumthing n this girl hit upon you.. n kissed you a bit... see her reaction...if she overreacts its a sure sign that she would be preferring to do the same to you...!!!!!!all the best pal!!!!

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Hay, i just wanna say thanks u helpin me so much!! she did get moody she ok now thou ha!

it does hurt loads! yeh its strange thou, i mean i do get jealous of her, but not as bad as her at all!! il let u know how it goes thanks again chick xxx

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hay, im so over it now! shes not botherin with me! total head fuk!! So angry! it was like she used me, she gone travelling on her own and still used me to talk to every single day, call all the time and now she met people nothing!! AHHH!! at least this is good! Can totally get over her!

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Hay chick how u doin!! yeh she is possesive still she called last nite and still gets moody if i go out! I really am startin to get over her! its wicked! deff not as strong as i fort i totally love her cos shes my best mate thats it!! Its wicked! She said i love u to me on the fone yest to, i didnt say ne thing then she said it again and i didnt say a think apart from yep!! that winds her up!! I honestly not bother no more!!

 

Still guna go over and see her, cos i miss her like crazy! Bt she is a totaly head fuk, when she needs me she calls when she dont then she really dont!! she sent me an email and was like im so sorry ive been neglecting u i feel so bad!! i miss the sound of ur voice!! then she called and was like ive missed ur voice so much!!

 

Honestly thou am totally gettin over it!! Cant wait to see her bt def realised that my bit of confussin was deff confussin! shes my best mate and thats that!!

 

Hows things with u chick x

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