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Would you please help with an advice?

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Hello everyone, this is my first post in this forum, but I've been reading a lot lately. My situation is similar to other ones but anyways I hope to get some replies in order to feel notalone...


In 4 days it will be 2 months that me and my BF broke up. It happened in June, and the reason for it was a little unclear. Everything was good, on June 3rd he invited me to his house to meet his mom, on June 4th it was my birthday, and he was nice and loving. I invited several friends over several days after my birthday, and him also. He was very nervous, because my parents were at home, and used to go out every second, to talk on the phone, or to smoke... I didn't like that and afterwards, we had a huge fight. This was the beggining of the end. He wanted a break up. I explained that If we do break up, there is not going to be a return. He came back, we love each other, at least that's what I was thinking up until now. Anyways, problems problems fights, and we were both tired, so I told him he is right, we don't have a future together. and we broke up. We called each other couple of times, but each call turned to screaming and fighting. Last time, some girl called me and asked if he is my boyfriend, and I called him asking to let his girls know that I am not his girlfriend, and not to call me. But he started screaming telling that nobody has my number, and it's my friends who did this. So we screamed again, and I decided not to contact him even as a friend anymore. I saw him once, by an accidant, we talked, a little bit, I barely stood on my feet, and barely didn't cry... He was neutral...He was my first BF and my first love. and I can't believe that he doesn't love me anymore. He said he loves me, but he thinks that we are too different, and he doesn't want to hurt me anymore. He says that he will not be happy with anyone else more than with me.... He loves to have fun with girls... I guess he is just a kid still wanting to have fun. I wasn't pushing him on engagement or on anything. But I think he is not ready to take a further step... I don't know I want him back, but I know that the same will happen later on.... Please tell me what to do and how to get over this....

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Hey honey,


Welcome to the forums.


I am not meaning this in an offensive way, as you sound incredibly smart and balanced, but you seem young, so I am assuming this you are both are pretty young, and started dating even younger?


It sounds to me like maybe the relationship ran it's course, he was ready to move on, and while it hurts, I think you also know that you deserve better than being pulled along. You are very smart for standing up for yourself.


In most cases, those young relationships don't last "forever" - you are still figuring yourself out, never mind what a relationship requires, and what you need in a partner!


Anyway, yes, it does seem maybe he is wanting to "see what else is out there". If he is young too, he probably is not ready for that "next step", and that is okay...we should not rush into things we are not wanting to do.


It is harder to see it and know it, as he is your first, but I promise you things will get better and you definitely will heal, and you definitely will love and be loved again. And while they won't be your "first" that does not mean that it won't be great....and even greater.


Take the time to heal, connect with your friends, passions, and stay strong (but it's okay to cry now and then too!).





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-we fought and I broke up with him.

-everytime we talk on the phone, we fight

-I saw him in person

-He said that he loved (emphasis on past tense) me.

-I might want him back, I might not. What do I do!?


....Are you serious? figure out if you want him back or not...it sounds like you're really disappointed that he didnt turn all emo and come crawling back to you. He's obviously doing fine without you, so dont be surprised if he's not wanting to come back.


edit: sorry. read the post wrong. I thought you were thinking about getting together. I'd suggest hanging out with your girlfriends and using your family as support to help you get over it.

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