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Over the past few weeks I've had a number of girls wanting to be with me, however there were only two that really appealed to me. The first one, Suzanne, was initially my first choice because a) She lived near me. and b) I knew her better.


My second choice, Rachel, was someone that I really wanted to get to know because she was such a great person in general. Well, I went over to Suzanne's house one night and we talked for a while about getting together. For some reason, in the midst of our conversation, she decided to call her ex (whom I strongly dislike). So that was a HUGE turn off to me.


A few days later, after spending more time with Rachel, I ended up going out with her. It's been about a week now, but I kind of lost touch with Suzanne since then. I received a call from Suzanne last night crying saying how could I ask Rachel out. She told me how much she really liked me and all that. I told her she was too preoccupied with her ex, and before ANYTHING would happen between us, she needs to get over him.


Now I really like Rachel, and it's not like I'm planning on breaking up with her to be with Suzanne, because Rachel is just so wonderful. Am I wrong for leading Suzanne on in the first place?? How do I tell her that I really don't want to be with her, so that she'll understand?

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You were 100% right in telling Suzanne that she needs to get over her ex first, and I applaud you for saying that. Now back it up. Do nothing more with Suzanne until she moves on from her ex completely-which for me means no contact, or in rare cases very limited contact.


You are not exclusively dating so none of these girls should be throwing a fit about it unless you've both sat down and discussed being exclusive-and if you do that means for them too. If they start going out with other guys or getting calls from random guys after the talk, but then don't want the same thing going on with you and girls, then end it with them and move on. There are a lot of double standard women out there just like there are double standard men.

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