OT- Friend

[redrose85]

This isn't so much about my relationship, but about a friendship. My best friend seems to be jealous of my relationship, and it's putting a strain on things. She'll make comments like saying my bf is a dork, but they both have fun together. She is older than me, (me 21 at the end of the month, her 28) But we have a lot in common and have both had rough times in the past. Nine months ago she started getting sick all the time, and it was determined that she has a lot of food allergies, and basically everything makes her sick, she's tried just about everything to find out what else is causing her reactions (because it's not just food allergies) but hasn't found anything. She just got over a crappy marriage and started school in September, but as time goes on her stomach problems get worse and worse and she basically couldn't go to school during the summer semester she signed up for. She's a very social person, and can still go out from time to time but not nearly as much as she'd like, because she either has her kids with her, or she is sick. I really feel like she is starting to get bitter over the whole thing, and I don't blame her. Her whole life has been one big obstacle, and she is still the most positive person I know. I really do admire her for that. But she makes comments about my bf that hurt my feelings, and when I call her up to do something, she'll be like "where's Alex today?" I don't know, it's kind of a sticky situation. We've never hung out 24/7 but we are very close. I feel like the amount of time we've spent together hasn't really changed, but because she wants a bf right now, I feel almost guilty for being in this great relationship. I know she wants me to be happy, but I want her to be happy too. I say to my bf, I wish I could fix her illness, whatever it is Just a vent I guess. Thanks for reading

[robowarrior]

Its NOT good. She wants your boyfriend, and is hurting you as an outlet of her life frustration. Basically you have to tell her that she is really hurting you with her angry comments about your boyfriend. If she makes another comment like that after you warned her, tell her that you don't feel like spending time with her if she continues on like that. Honestly you don't want people in your life that bring you nothing but negativity. Its sad that she broke up and even worse that she has all those allergies. But you are not at the root of that, so its unfair that she unleashes all her frustrations on you.

[redrose85]

well, you're a little off there, she definitely does not want my boyfriend, but I think that she is jealous that I have a good relationship. I know she doesn't mean to take her frustration out on me, but it's hard to remember sometimes. She's an incredibly patient person, and she's not being a total b**** or anything, but she always has this negative undertone in her voice lately, and that has never been there before. I'll just try to keep being supportive. thanks for the reply