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Want to know what it feels like..........


yeawutever
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dating two or more people at once and they don't know it, LOL. Ok, well I'm going with this guy (let's called him A) tomorrow and Friday, but then this other guy (let's call him B) wants to know me so I told him probably on Saturday in the afternoon.

 

Both are from link removed and guy A already saw me in person, while B didn't yet but will.

 

So, I just wanted to know how it feels to be seeing two at once while they don't really know. On Saturday if guy A calls, I'll just say I'm staying on campus working on a project while I'm going out with the other guy. I kinda like that idea of double dating.

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Ailec - I don't think there is anything wrong with seeing more than one person at a time if there is no commitment to be exclusive. That's what "dating" means.

 

But if guy A has expectations that you won't date other people, then doing so just to experience the thrill of it.......well, it's just not right. Especially if you're going to lie to do so.

 

Tell guy A what you're doing. Just tell him you have another date as you feel you are just dating.

 

If you already know that you are supposed to be exclusive, either don't see guy B or break it off with guy A first and set the right expectations.

 

Be fair dude.

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Well, so long as it is casual, it's fine. It had a number of advantages when I did. One, it kept me from calling the one I really wanted too much, seeeing her to much, etc. Two, I was busy, in demand, made me seem more desirable. Three, it forced me to take things slow with each one and be casual. I was not about to maintain two serious reltionships or cheat on one serious relationship. Four, it got me dating a bunch more women to figure out which ones were more or less of interest to me. Five, things naturally pared themselves down for me. I called the oens I liked more, and not the other ones. Please note caller ID is very helpful. If not, you must be vague on the phone until you figure out who is talking.

 

I think you need to keep it casual and also cap the number of dates you go on before making it exclusive. If I went on more than five dates, it was a relationship. So, five dates was my bail out or proceed with trying the relationship point. And make up your mind what is intimate. If kissing is something you do in a relationship, then don't kiss. If you get naked and have oral sex outside of one, then feel free. I thought I could kiss a woman, but no more. Anything more, and we were in or close to relationship territory.

 

Finally, don't lie about where you are, be vague, but don't lie. If you are out with another guy, say you are with a friend. If he asks what friend, tell him something which means I won't tell you.

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Please note caller ID is very helpful. If not, you must be vague on the phone until you figure out who is talking.

 

Yea that's true, I must be careful not to confuse them again. I accidently say guy B's name when it was guy A. I will get a cell phone evidentually.

 

I think you need to keep it casual and also cap the number of dates you go on before making it exclusive.If kissing is something you do in a relationship, then don't kiss.

 

I'm not into kissing either of them, I'm just starting to get to know them. Kissing would be when I choose one only and then take things serious. For now on, I'm not yet thinking about commitment.

 

If you get naked and have oral sex outside of one, then feel free. I thought I could kiss a woman, but no more. Anything more, and we were in or close to relationship territory.

 

Actually I'm into keeping my virginity until the right moment comes with the right one. Other than that, I'll only leave it at kiss, that's it.

 

Finally, don't lie about where you are, be vague, but don't lie.

 

Yea, you're right, I don't want to sound like a player.

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I'm not into kissing either of them, I'm just starting to get to know them. Kissing would be when I choose one only and then take things serious. For now on, I'm not yet thinking about commitment.

 

Your choice about what you do with them and when you lose your virginity. In my view, there was nothing I was willing to do besides kiss a woman, when I did date more than one. I think if things did go further, most women would expect us to be more serious. I also was not one to try to work through the "bases." If I went past kissing, I did not want to stop. Of course, I had a different attitude when I was younger, all those long years ago when I was your age (back in the 1980s).

 

Enjoy each date, have fun. Don't let the guys pay for every single thing, either split checks or pick up the tab for smething. If you cannot affrod to do that, organize your second, third or fourth date with a guy, and take him someplace which is free. Packing a backpack with some food, and hiking and having a picnic is a fine date, and costs little. If I was dating a woman who had money, I wanted her to share some of the burden of paying. If she didn't, it was ok for her just to put in effort. Don't make any one guy shoulder all the money and effort, esp. if you date him three or four times or more.

 

And one final tip. Listen. Let him talk, listen to him, and look at his eyes when you do listen. Do that to a man, and he will want you.

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It's good to see you going out there and getting dates. I should be doing the same thing instead of sitting on the computer and doing stuff by myself. Mind you, you are only in the beginning stages of getting to know someone/dating. It doesnt mean that you are exclusive.

 

In the beginning stages, I think everybody assumes that you are setting up dates with more than just them. It would extremely naieve and imprudent to assume otherwise. So, you are free to see whomever you want to. If you do like one person over the other and start getting serious, then you should let the others know so people dont get their hopes up. It is only fair.

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Don't let the guys pay for every single thing, either split checks or pick up the tab for smething.Don't make any one guy shoulder all the money and effort, esp. if you date him three or four times or more.

 

I did not let guy A pay for me when we were going on the boat. I'm gonna start to work sometime this month. Off course my dad was like "But you should have let him pay for you, he has too, that's the rule" or if I'm the caller he would be like "Why are you calling, you should let him call". Oh well, I don't think like that. Now that's funny cuz when my parents were b/f and g/f they would split the bill in half and whoever invited the other would be the one paying.

 

Listen. Let him talk, listen to him, and look at his eyes when you do listen. Do that to a man, and he will want you.

 

Right on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thanx Beec.

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In the beginning stages, I think everybody assumes that you are setting up dates with more than just them. It would extremely naieve and imprudent to assume otherwise.

 

Yea, that would be very naive, afterall it's not like I'm exclusive.

 

Thank you too renaissancewoman101

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I agree with Beec, dont let the guy pay for everything. He can pay for a few things in the beginning to establish that he does have an interest in you (otherwise, it starts off like a friendship which is not what you want really) but as things start heating up, I would suggest you either split the bill or do what I do, pay for one thing and he pay for the other.

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Not quite sure I if ever said what it feels like. No where near as good as knowing you and one other person are a heading the right way. But, you feel busy. Ever been overbooked in your calendar, out all the time, too many appointments, etc. That's what it feels like after a while. But, it's nice at first.

 

If I had a relationship end, I'd start with trying to date multiple women, then when one was right, wait, let it mature and it would pare down to just her. It felt nice after the relaitonshp ended, because it was a sign people wanted me, that I was attractive, worth doing stuff with and for, etc.

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As for the update, yes I did got to meet the other guy in person on Saturday, which I'm not planning to call him again. It didn't work, he wasn't that attractive and by the way he was talking, I could tell he was just there for the looks and wanted something else (obviously). Asking me if I wanted to go to a hotel with him and his friends, how stupid. When I asked why, he say to just show me his friends, yea right, like I'm naivee.

 

Anyways I did see the other one yesterday, which I really like (starting to like him more). I kinda feel guilty of the white lie I told him. It was true that on Saturday early in the afternoon I was on campus. But then I made up by telling him that I just got back from the gym (exercising) and I'm so sleepy and to call me back at 11 p.m or tomorrow, when I was dating the other guy.

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I would not have been comfortable, in your shoes, going to a hotel with him.

 

As far as the other guy, I can see why you would not be comfortable with a lie, but don't see the need for doing it. Until he is your boyfriend, you can be busy doing whatever you want with whoever you want. I can understand this would change for most if sex were invovled, but it's not. You went on a date, you would like to date him again, if more comes of it great. In the future, just tell him you are "busy" and if he asks what with, don't answer.

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LOL, guy B called (the loser I did not went to the hotel with) and asked why I haven't call him, I say I'm busy and hang up quickly.

 

Now and tomorrow, I'll be going with guy A. You're right, for now I'm free to do what I want to, if we were to become exclusive then that's it, I can't be doing that anymore. Only been a week since I started dating him and I'm starting to like him more.

 

Thanx Beec

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