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This is so hard I don't want to live


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I have been over a barrel, so many things have happened in 1 past MONTH, The love of my life left me, my friend backstabbed me on a job, my best friend died, I am trying to accept a disease that is incurable, and will be with me until the day I die, one which will most likely lead to rejection and heartbreak nonstop, and I have nobody anymore, I don't really even know what to do with myself, the only thing that makes me happy is when I think about dying and how short life is, as in I get excited thinking that death is somewhat around the corner, then come to the realization that I am 20 years old and have a lot of misery to live out. So no, this topic isin't specificly based on heartbreak or loss of a loved one, but that is probably the thing that hurts the most right now.

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Hi Razerbladez, I have not been on here in a very long time and came on here to write a post, but read yours. I am sorry to hear about your pain. What is your disease? I only ask because if it is AIDS or certain cancers, then you can have many good years. I have given a lot of thought to what I would do, if I were to get a bad disease. I would want to live life to the fullest, but not get to the point where I was suffering or had no quality of life. I have always wondered if it was possible to find out you were dying, but have time to enjoy a healthly life for a short time. It would be nice if we had a specific amount of days and could plan them accordingly and then when it was up, just vanish. I know it does not work that way, but I am curious about your situation. I will be more than happy to lend an ear. I wish you the best.

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We all have dealt with similiar situations and regardless of how much you are convinced you can't get through this you most certainly will..find God and just go with the flow...before you know it time will pass and you will start to heal...nothing is instant and the shock of so many things happening at once can make you feel like it's just too much and too late..but it never is. Everything MUST change and whether you like it or not, fight it, don't believe it, whatever...your situation will improve..I promise you from the bottom of my heart..it's not too late my friend. We are all going through the same hardships together...If you can see, walk, talk, think, and breathe you already have a tremendous advantage over millions that can't in this world...you have to start thinking about what you CAN DO and not what is gone or you can't do...your amount of stress and hurt will now motivate you and build your inner ability to overcome this whole thing as well as anything years from now, and when you do get past this and accept these changes you will be 10 times stronger for it and nothing will be able to stop you as your strength will be superior to people that did'nt have to deal with this stuff. You have to overcome it, so turn it into a game and challenge yourself to beat it no matter what. You will be amazed at how your life starts getting back to normal. If you ever feel like you can't make it or get through the day just remember these words.... "The more I suffer the stronger I become" ..as you start to get stronger and the old memories start to be replaced with new ones (a natural process nobody can stop) you will realize you stop hurting a little bit more each new day until it's gone. Get outside, eat good, drink alot of water and take a balanced vitamin supplement with all the B vitamins. It's sad any of us have to hurt like this...but it will fade in time. I promise promise promise promise.

 

Please let us know how you are doing...even though we are "strangers" we still care.

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Yes, many of us are going through what you feel and we are here to support you and help you through the process. I have had 4 serious serious illnesses in my immediate family recently, my ex bf and best friend have cancer, I just came out of a tormenting abusive breakup, but you know what I need to keep plowing forward, and so do you. We can get through this together, just keep fighing the fight and don't give up. We are here to chear you on.

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