So close :(

[chris_nos_2007]

Ok so me and my ex basically have bene apart 2 months now. I had NC for about a week haha. This past friday night though she contacted me and thanked me for going to one of her things and it meant a lot and she also talked to my mom and her friends saying she was really leaning towards going back to me. She told her mom also that she really missed certain things about me. We hung out on Saturday for like 6 hours and it was awesome. She kept wanting to like cuddle and kiss me and i kept it as friendly as possible saying were broken up we cant do this. She kept throwing hints at me about being together again. She said though that she was confused right now. I guessed that there was another guy and i was right. She met him a few weeks ago and she said that wen she thought about us she remembered bad memories and good...but when she saw him there was nothing wrong. I told her that thats just because there hasnt been time for any wrong yet. Sometime after that convo she said she likes me and doesn tlike him and also told my mom that. She was anxious to hang out again and she said Sunday but i said i was busy then so we agreed monday evening. Then Sunday comes around she is hanging out with one of her friends all day and doesnt contact me. I called her at around midnight because i figured shed be at home but she was staying the night with her friend. She said shed call back. She called around 10 min. but it was her friend and she asked if id be mad if they hung out and went to a movie monday night instead. I said no thats fine i guess. Obviously hurt but i didnt show it. We talked for about 15. min. and got off. Then today around 1 i got a txt from the friend asking if i am mad at the ex. I say no y would i be. She says its only one day u dont need to be angry. Im like uhh ok wat r u talking about i dont care. I get home and get on my msn and it shows the friend and my ex with 2 guys....one of which is the one that she likes. So Im like oook she blew me off today to ahng out with that guy. So i txt the friend saying i think u should have the ex call me. No call. I call...no answer. I txt back or not to the friend. Havent heard from them since. I called her mom and she said she was gonan talk to the ex. They cant even go to a movie anymore tonite because she has to pack soem stuff up so the friend and the guys had to go. Ok so what do i do now it feels like everything really openedup again and she wants me back but she wants to see this new guy now 2 and she has said to my mom she doesnt want to rush into a relationship right now. Do i call still and hook up again or NC. I dont want her to get away becasue i dont call. This sucks so bad.

[Route66Life]

First of all, she can't have two people at once, and that's unfair for you and that guy. She sounds immature and isn't even ready to commit to anything. The girl blew you off to hang out with another guy, for goodness sakes! That says a lot. So, I think you should just give up on her and wait until she grows up.

[chris_nos_2007]

Ok before i read this she txted me saying sorry we didnt hang out today. I txt back saying to cal.. She called and we talked for a 15 min. She said she likes me and that she likes this other guy. She says she is very confused and doesnt know what she is wanting. She said we can ahng out tomoro so i said we could hang durng the day at her house. Then she said we could come back to my house after practice also. So what exactly should i do?

[Fisch]

I dont mean to play devils advocate or anything, but it is obvious to me that she is severely abusing the word confused in this situation. She obviously knows exactly what she is doing, and I am sure she wouldnt want it done to her. What she REALLY means to say is that she likes you both and wants to keep you on a string until she makes up her mind at the cost of your emotions. The longer you let her pull you around, the more self esteem you will lose and the worse of your relationship will be if you do get back together. In fact your best chance is to play a bit hard to get and/or give her an ultimatum, a time limit, rules of the game, anything. If you dont stop this however, and assert to her what you want so she sees that you are not just some guy who will do whatever she wants (in the end nobody wants that) but someone who knows how to take care of himself (so you can take care of others too right!). Get to it! If you really need specific suggestions or something post again.

[chris_nos_2007]

I def. do need specifics...She called back tonight and i made it seem like i was having a great time with out with friends. She said that i can come over around 9 30 tomoro morning so its obvious she likes me to want to hang out that much. So should i basically act like i dont really care about her when she comes over? After she leaves she i go into NC and not say anything? Should I say well until u kno what it is you want i think its best we dont talk? That could work good if right now is when she likes me? This is really confusing situation for me.

[heloladies21]

The way you're going will certainly not work. Being a girl's friend in situations like these never leads to getting back together. It just doesn't happen. Also hanging around in the background like you're doing doesn't work. I've seen too many people try it and have it not work out.

 

Best thing to do is to have a conversation where you put everything on the table and let her know what you really want. You want a relationship, not just friends. If she doesn't want the same, go NC. There wouldn't be a point to stay in touch anyways. If she continues to contact you, remind her of your position and discontinue the call.

[mikeca]

be a man, set the record straight, you've either got to let her know she will lose you or she'll keep running to you like a safety net.

[chris_nos_2007]

So even though she likes me right now u think i should still do that? Staying around with her and reminding her im not hers u dont think will work? I am going over there in around an hour and I am going to tell her as long as shes confused then I cant wait around for her. Is that what I need to do?

[heloladies21]

Yup, that what you need to do right there.

[chris_nos_2007]

Ok so I went over to the ex's house yesterday. We hung out for a few hours mostly talking the whoel time. The basic outcome of the convo was that she loves me, sees us being together forever but saying just not right now. She says she wants sometime to be single and be able to hang out with a lot of different ppl because she says if she gets into the relationship right now months down the line shes gonna feel like this again and wants to get it out of her system now. She did say as for the other guy she cant see herself with him and hes not really her type. She said she just likes his character but its more like a friendship. We do start up school in a week so she we will have to see each other. Do you think after all this I should start NC again or should I keep in LC every so often? She just wants her space right now but she does say she loves me and has no interest in being with soemone else and sees us being togetehr forever. So maybe NC until she contacts me and is hanging out alright ya think?

[heloladies21]

The basic outcome of the convo was that she loves me, sees us being together forever but saying just not right now. She says she wants sometime to be single and be able to hang out with a lot of different ppl because she says if she gets into the relationship right now months down the line shes gonna feel like this again and wants to get it out of her system now. She did say as for the other guy she cant see herself with him and hes not really her type. She said she just likes his character but its more like a friendship.

 

This is all BS right here. When a chick says she wants you, but not right now it means she doesn't think you're the one for her period. Her wanting time to be single, means she wants to be single to find someone else. As for the other guy, she likes him more than she likes you, otherwise she would be in the relationship with you.

 

She just wants her space right now but she does say she loves me and has no interest in being with soemone else and sees us being togetehr forever.

This is a very common things to say, only to find out that the chick finds someone new and leaves you very hurt in the end. She will find someone else, this is for sure. Any kind of LC, NC only from your end, inbetween friends thing is a bad idea. You will just be stringing yourself along.

 

Here's what's going to happen unless you specifically tell her either she's in your life is a relationship or not at all. She'll lead you along as a "friend", spending time with you and getting your hopes up that you have a chance. She'll continue to look for someone else, and once she finds someone you will become a back up priority to her, if she even decides to stay in touch with you at all.

[chris_nos_2007]

Right and I understand all that and agree. But I also think that she really is debating coming back because she kept wanting to bring it up and she was wanting to hang out and stuff. I just cant take my mind off of her like I am very confused on the whole issue right now. I think she is very confused as well. Yesterday when I was there we were in the living room with her mom and older sister and my ex kept wanting to bring the issue up saying lets talk about it. Im not sure what to do right now....i think im about to call her though and just see whats going on. I want school to start back up so im around everyone again and maybe take my mind off things and maybe put me back in hers. Very sad right now tho.

[lady00]

Sorry but she isn't confused. She doesn't want a relationship with you. Period. All that stuff she says about the future is total bs. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but I hate to see people get toyed with like this. It's so unfair. If you wait around for this girl I guarantee you that she will date other guys. Do whatever form of NC you can do while being in school together. Don't initiate contact, if she calls ignore it. You need to heal and move on.