Was he just making up lines to get me in bed?

[Suzanne1281]

Hello,

 

I have been flirting with a guy who I have mutual friends with for a few weeks. Last week we ended up kissing and he was telling me he wanted to be in a relationship with me and that he had so much fun with me and he really liked me and was going to call me.

Well this week I met my group of friends out, he was included. He acted like nothing had happened between us the week before and he spent the ENTIRE night hanging out with another girl and went home with her! He asked her just to drop him off so I'm not sure if anything happened. He knew her from college.

 

Anyways, I don't understand! Why did he say all those things to me and then the very next week was all over another girl and got a ride home from her RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! I would dismiss it easier except we have to see each other b/c we have mutual friends.

 

He is just getting out of a tumultuous relationship. Could that be it? Also he is always talking about his insurance job and making money and this girl's father owns a big insurance company. Could it be that as soon as he saw her, he saw dollar signs and forgot about me? I'm afraid if they do get together I'll have to see it. I don't deserve it at all. Why did he like me one week and forget about me the next?

[DN]

What did you reply when he said he wanted to be in a relationship with you?

[Dako]

DN's right.

What did you say to him?

He may be simply reacting to your response or lack of response.

[Suzanne1281]

When he told me that I smiled and said "aww" and kissed him and told him that sounded good cuz I had a crush on him.

 

That was well before the end of the night, I had kissed him enough times after that to get the message accross that I felt the same. He said he'd call me, and he never did. I didn't want to intrude too much cuz his ex was moving her stuff out of the house that weekend and I didn't want to seem too pushy or not understanding. Then when I saw him that next week when he was all over the other girl he was saying what a bad week he had had b/c of the ex. I don't know if it's too late to call or text him to find out what's going on?

 

Should I have called last week even though he said he'd call me? Ugh I just don't know.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

That was well before the end of the night, I had kissed him enough times after that to get the message accross that I felt the same.

 

That might be the problem. With mixed messages and all it's hard to know what a person might want unless they plain outright say what they want.

 

As for not calling him, yeah it might have been better if you had. If anything just to let him know that he was on your mind.

[yeawutever]

He probably was waiting a call from you.

[Suzanne1281]

That might be the problem. With mixed messages and all it's hard to know what a person might want unless they plain outright say what they want.

 

As for not calling him, yeah it might have been better if you had. If anything just to let him know that he was on your mind.

 

 

But I did tell him outright what I wanted. When he said he wanted to "have a relationship with me", I told him "that sounds good" and when he said he had to resolve his current situation with his ex I told him that sounded good because I definitely had a crush on him.

 

As for not calling him, when he said he'd call me and I said definitely to call and "don't be shy." I'm almost glad I didn't call that week because when I saw him out on that Friday he said he had had the "worst week ever" with fighting with his ex about moving her stuff out. I mean I remember breaking up with my last boyfriend and having this guy who I had originally liked keep calling me and I had to ask him to leave me alone b/c I was trying to get through a bad break-up and needed to just get through that. If he had given me a little space it might have worked. Maybe guys and girls are different.

 

Men who are reading this, help me out. Do you think I should still call him and just ask how things are going? Or is it too late now and the call would seem random.

[Dako]

Give him a call, and ask him to go for coffee.

Nothing vague about that to confuse the boy.

[Lonelyinasmalltown]

I would call him. Just say it's been a while and you're wondering how he is and go from there. Don't mention that he didn't call you like he said he would. Flirt a bit with him over the phone, hint to him that you're interested, but let him make the move. IF, and I do mean IF he mentions to you about a possibility of a relationship with you, tell him that you would like that but you aren't going to wait forever for him. It lets him know that yes, you are interested and but you aren't going to take any BS (for lack of a better word) from him either.

 

Hopefully my advice helps you. I know if I was in his shoes and a woman called me, flirted and let me know that she wanted a relationship I wouldn't be put off by it. Quite the opposite in fact.

 

Another piece of advice though. When trying to tell a man what you want, treat us like little children and tell us exactly what you want. Hints and such don't really work for for most us too much. Today's world is bad for men who acted on a perceived hint that was wrong, so most of us have a tendency to "not get the hint" to protect ourselves (IE, sexual harrasment when it wasn't intended and fun stuff like that). I know I'm like that, not taking that step on a hint, not the getting in trouble part. lol

 

Hope things work out for you. Remember, if you do let him know and he still doesn't ask... you're too good for him anyway.