Its complicated but it might work

[enigmaz_Barbie]

OMGOSH, hey everyone!!!

Ok, remember this guy >

 

Well we were talking last night and he asked me If I liked him, I said yes. Then he said that he liked me too. He was really shy!!

He said that he knows I dont want a bf but asked if I would make an exception for him! I told him that my parents are not cool with me dating just yet, he kept saying he couldnt talk to me anymore. I felt like crying! He didnt say anything to me for awhile, we were just heaps silent. He asked me if I could try and make it work like without people knowing, he said it would be our thing and that he didnt want to lose me.

So yeh, we are seeing eachother but its between us. Im alil worried that my parents will find out, but he kept saying it will be ok and he wouldnt do anything to screw us ip. He admitted that he had liked me for nearly a year now but was just really shy to admit it

 

I feel like a highschool kid sneaking around, but Im so happy. I havent been this happy for ages. Is what Im doing bad though?

[Momene]

As a dad myself, I would feel more worried if you WEREN'T dating at 19. Unless you've got some sort of bad history, I can't see the reason for your parents to be like that.

[PRSOV]

You are 19 and now an adult, why are your parents deciding whether or not you can date?..

[enigmaz_Barbie]

well my parents feel dating will affect my studys (which is not true because I feel he supports me and encourages me allot when it comes to studys).

 

My parents also always say that when I do start dating they want me to date within my own nationality. Im not comfortable dating within my own nationality because I feel I cant show the guy who I really am. For example, I can get really cheeky and the guy will MOST DEFINALTY tell his parents or friends and then everyone would talk bad about me. Its really pathetic, when I go out to church or functions I dont look at anyone nor do I assosicate with them. I used to be a social butterfly within my nationality afew years ago but it wreaked my life, people gossiped about me and looked down at me, so I withdrew.

 

I wish I could tell them, but I know if I do it would destory the relationship i have with my parents. Im 20 in a few months, its really annoying.

[PRSOV]

I think you should stand up for yourself and tell your parents this is your choice, it's your life and you are an adult. You need to excercise your own rights and not let people walk all over you... If the relationship is what you want then you need to have a chat with your parents, they cannot tell you how to live your own life.

 

Outline the fact that he is positively influencing your studies, you feel as if you are more yourself when you are with him rather than within your own nationality. To me that is racist what you parents are doing.

 

When were your parents going to allow you to have a boyfriend?

 

PR

[coollady1957]

I don't see any reason you should be having to hide seeing this guy from your parents. You are going to be 20 soon, and are old enough to make choices and decisions for yourself.

 

What are they going to do if they find out you are dating someone? What is the worst that could happen ?

[enigmaz_Barbie]

When were your parents going to allow you to have a boyfriend?

 

When I finish my studys.

 

 

Maybe I should just wait and see what how things go. If I start liking him allot, I'l tell my parents. But at the moment I'l leave things the way they are. Im just paranoid that they will find out.

[Momene]

I disagree with your parents. What's the use of a well-qualified person in their 20s with no experience of relationships or life. Make a good walking encyclopedia and not much else. Life needs balance, even when you're studying.